Grattitude Jar 2024

This is the second year that I'm posting the contents of my grattitude jar.  Like last time, I've omitted confidential information. In 2023 I had 73 grattitudes, while this entry only has 53. The first one had things like "Living close to the Iron Horse Trail" which still holds true but I wouldn't bother repeating, so I don't think I'm less grateful this time around.

Since these were written on construction paper and thrown in haphazardly, I can't guarantee this is in chronological order. I did make an attempt to put them in "clumps" when they relate. 

Context occasionally given in brackets.

"Seeing what were probably bats on the Iron Horse Trail"

"Having two neurospicy coworkers" (I myself am neurospiced, which is why I'm mentioning this)

"Finding a good stick to use as a window jam" (Our window stopped working for a bit, so we needed to find something to jam it with. When winter came around, the regular lock started working again. Don't know why)

"Medical system progressing Lee-Anne's journey. Schedule for intracranial observation set"

"Being in a country with an accessible enough medical system to give this as an option for Lee-Anne"

"Living in a time where we can understand Lee-Anne's epilepsy"

"Lee-Anne's procedure is on Purple Shirt Day" (Purple Shirt Day is Epilepsy Awareness Day. Even her neurosurgeon said her procedure being set at that date was "auspicious". Some coworkers and members wore purple in her honour)

"Lee-Anne successfully getting through initial surgery for her epilepsy observation"

"Lee-Anne being supported to make a complaint after a bad experience with a nurse"

"Finding a 4 leaf clover token"

"Getting some time to myself to recuperate"

"Getting the salad bowl that was ordered for our wedding shower last year"

"Developing a strategy to keep workout routine engaging"

"Playing the new edition of Super Mario RPG"

"Having a good vet clinic" (One of our cats, Finn, had an emergency where he was urinating blood. We took him in. He was diagnosed as anxious with a delayed reaction from the Christmas season. We got him treated and he's been doing well)

"Finn feeling better"

"A workshop provider forcing some introspection on coworkers"

"The solar eclipse being cool and my boss bringing eclipse glasses"

"Running into the mother of someone I used to support and learning that he is doing well"

"Getting to experience Akira Toriyama's work" (The writer for the Dragon Ball series passed this year)

"QAM went well" (The audit system for where I work. I've been there for six years. Apparently they used to come in almost annually, but the pandemic backlogged them hard, so this was the first time I've experienced it) 

"Seeing a Via, Go, and Ion train all crossing the same spot at the same time"

"My mom & aunt made it to Kenabeek" (Where my grandparents live)

"My mom, brother, and their cats getting out of the fire alright" (When Mom was gone, there was a house fire that compromised their home. My mom, brother, and there two cats would have to live with us until they could find somewhere else)

"Family in Guelph having enough community to step in"

"Managed to get seeds to sprout sunflowers in each of the jiffy pots" (This is the only grattitude that aged poorly, as none of these sunflowers would survive. I grew three batches, but they were all eaten by pests)

"My mom and brother getting to try Graffiti Market and Thai Bistro"

"Getting the chance to show my mom and brother the Pokemon Go routes I've made" (Fringe benefit of them needing to live here is that I was able to show them some local attractions)

"Kieran & Finn and Castor & Pollux all warmed up to each other" (Our two cats and their two, learning to live with each other)

"My brother being supported by his partner in California" (My brother left to stay with his partner for a few months after the fire to collect himself)

"Finally doing Tie Dye" (When I couldn't find a purple shirt for Epilepsy Awareness Day, I remembered that I could use tie dye. I bought a kit, but also regular dye and wound up making a normal purple shirt. Eventually I made some tie-dye stuff)

"Went to the cherry festival for the first time and it was a lot bigger than I thought it could be"

"Harvested a lot of peas, got a tomato, and two cucumbers on the way"

"Hearing that an old teacher told one of our students that I have a beautiful soul"

"Being lent the complete works of J.R.R. Tolkien"

"Going to Central Art Walk and Frederick Art Walk"

"Running into some old coworkers and people I used to support at Frederick Art Walk"

"Getting new bookmarks, dryer balls, a sketchbook, and a calendar for 2025 at Frederick Art Walk"

"Getting to stay at St Jacob's for mine and Lee-Anne's first anniversary"

"Running into an old WALES member at St Jacob's Market"

"Running into my old boss and his wife at Stanley Park Mall"

"Seeing a fox outside Hospice Waterloo Region" (Not because anyone was dying. I was job shadowing someone, and when we left there was a fox)

"My mom and brother got accepted into an apartment right across the street, rent controlled with dishwasher"

"Pollux & Castor moved to the new apartment" (They didn't go right away, we waited until the place was filled out a bit)

"My mom and brother were given an armchair and couch from Lee-Anne's grandma's old place" 

"A coworker gave my mom and brother a coffee table and dining room table"

"Family friend helped us move the Guelph stuff out of storage"

"Finally getting that citrus painting from Lee Angold, which we first saw at the Central Art Walk" (Mentioning her name because she is a public fiure)

"Finally going back to Kenabeek, seeing it in Fall for the first time" (A place that was central to my childhood, but I hadn't managed to visit in recent years)

"Finding my old clubhouse in Kenabeek still intact"

"Reading my old childhood books in Kenabeek and showing Lee-Anne"

"Granddad got to be with his wife and daughters when he passed" (My granddad with dementia, not from the Kenabeek branch)

"Granddad passed while listening to his favourite symphony: Mahler #2"

Granddad's Memorial Service

Here is Granddad's obituary, mostly written by my Aunt with input from Mom:

https://obituaries.thestar.com/obituary/dr-barent-landstreet-jr-1092502209

His Memorial Service was held on January 2nd at the retirement community that he'd been living in with Oma. They have a lobby downstairs that is large enough to accomodate a gathering. It was held here because they wanted to make sure that family could make it, as well as friends and neighbours that were local to the community.

 It was a Quaker ceremony. I knew that we had some ancestry, but honestly didn't know it was immediate enough to count as our nearest faith system, at least on that side of the family. I liked it though. Quakers don't plan speaches, so they celebrate in silence, allowing anyone that feels compelled to talk to briefly say what's on their mind.

There was a very slight irony that the person explaining the format read the bit about not having planned speaches from a piece of paper.

I didn't quite have it in me to talk. I'm comforted a little by the sentiment that we were able to support with our silence. I wonder if my quietness comes from my Quaker roots.

I'll share a few of the thoughts I had while I was reflecting on my relationship with Granddad during the service. Nothing too profound.

I remembered waving to each other all the way until he was out of eyesight after his visits to Guelph.

I remembered that, during a road trip to see my Great Grandmother in Philedelphia, he was playing an audio biography of Beethoven. As an adult, it wasn't too sad, but it had some melancholy beats. I asked him and my mom why they would listen to something they knew would make them feel bad. The answer I got was that it was "sad in a good way" and when I said that didn't make sense, I was told that "I'd understand when I grew up". Well, I'm grown up now and I do know. I think this was the first time I considered that there was merit to life outside of happiness.

He was the reason I used to listen to classical music when I was trying to sleep as a child. I had insomnia and it helped.

I remembered that when things were hard when I was in high school, and our households were not speaking. We'd email each other and rendezvous somewhere for a meal and to catch up.

He's probably the only reason I had any real familiarity with restaurants before I became an adult. 

Here is a display in his honour set up at the service.

After the ceremony, we took his ashes to High Park. He used to run there regularly, as it was in his neighbourhood previous to retirement. I used to go on hikes with him there. My aunt gave the family 20 jars and invited us to either scatter them or take them home. After some thought, I figured that I didn't know which was a better way to honour him. So I chose a tree to scatter my bottle under, and Lee-Anne kept hers.

I thought that, because he was sociable I should put it somewhere that he could see people moving by. I found a spot near a walking trail and river, overlooked by this tree.

 

I also took note of a memorial bench nearby, just because those are always distinct and unlikely to be moved. A way to make sure I could find my way back.

He neighbours Marjorie and Stan Collinson. There's an engraved quote that says "Memories are precious, life goes along, fill it with caring and love"

Maybe not hyper-specific to our family, but it fits and it's a nice sentiment.

Mom thought similarly and split the difference with the ashes she was given, scattering some and taking some home. She says she wants to spread some near where they're currently living, and some near mine and Lee-Anne's place.

1000th Post

This is my 1000th post. I started this blog on September 12th, 2009. It took me 14 and a quarter years to reach this point.

I originally came up with the idea after doing something called the Ways2Work program, a pre-employment service for youth who didn't have a path forward after highschool. We used to do something called "check in" each morning where we would go around the circle and talk about what had happened to us the previous day.

Before attending Ways2Work, I had spent some time feeling lost and depressed after graduating highschool and breaking up with my first girlfriend. I couldn't keep track of time, and things fell into a sort of miasma. But when I was in this group I felt compelled to find something that I could at least speak to each morning, so I had something to say during check in.

After completing the program, my life became structureless again. This blog was made as a way of recreating that sense of continuity that Ways2Work's check in sessions provided me. Inspiration to do something worth talking about every day.

I originally named it "Lair of the Gryphon", a reference to an earlier blog I'd made on LiveJournal called "Lair of the Rat Sage". I don't know why I defined myself as such. That one had a similar initial purpose, but spiraled into my hyperfixation at the time, which was book reviews.

Eventually, I renamed this blog as "the Gryphon's Perch" after many years being known by its prior title. Originally, the subtext was "A daily blog about my life". Once I'd established a career in social work, I had to consider large amounts of my life confidential, causing updates to become less frequent.

This place has never been a huge public draw, although it has had two spikes in readership. After doing Canada World Youth, I spoke a lot on my experience in the village of Karadie, the only person at the time to do so. This meant that I'd be a primary source on Google for future teams going there. A lot of people in my own group found the blog ahead of time too. I also got some attention from people wanting to attend the Social Service Worker program at Conestoga College for the same reason. I've had two fans that I didn't know reach out to me.

At its prime, this blog was getting 600+ views per post. It's still one of the first hits if you Google "Gryphon Sibbald". Due to what I assume was caused by long breaks and inconsistency, it has dwindled to like... 10 on average. Some content was also filtered away after I made four satellite blogs: 

The Migrating Gryphon, originally KatimaGryphon, based on travelling and is simply an amalgation of my experiences in Katimavik and Canada World Youth. I was the group journalist in both programs and simply copy/pasted my entries into these for preservation. If I ever travel again, I'll update it again. As is, I haven't posted anything since graduating Canada World Youth. It was my first satellite, but the only one that isn't currently active.

Gryphon's Gallery, which started off based on photos. At first mostly from my neighbourhood in Guelph, just trotting around snapping pics on an old point-and-shoot camera. Eventually it expanded to include paintings when I got into that.

Gryphon's Reviews, harkening back to Lair of the Rat Sage. No one ever really liked this content, so I decided to spare the few regulars I get here and sequestered it in its own blog. Not just books now, it can cover anything.

Gryphood, my most recent but second most active blog, after this one. I found online recipes annoying, so I reformat them in a way that makes better sense for my brain. It started off as a pandemic hobby, but it became useful in adjusting to my life with Lee-Anne, and also to my diabetes diagnosis. I've also made a personal hard copy version.

I'm kay with the decline in readership on my main blog. The only views I cared about were those coming from my grandparents, who have kept up with my updates enthusiastically. One of those people was my granddad, who lost his ability to keep up as dementia set in, and who passed this December 23rd.

The original intent of this blog was to ensure that I had something to talk about every day, and it achieved that purpose. Once my life sped up and I no longer needed it as a tool for that, it became more about honing and maintaining my writing ability.

For this 1000th post, I am going to overview each year that it has been published and give a summary.

2009

I picked up Karate this year and talked a lot about that. I would later drop it for Katimavik, get back into it a bit after graduating, drop it again for Canada World Youth, and then never pick it up again. I did visit the dojo a few times after, and one of the instructors would later go to the same college as me, so we got to catch up.

I kept the friends I made there in an email chain when I was doing my two youth programs. I still have my old sensei as a Facebook friend. He stopped doing martial arts at some point, got into cars, and the dojo eventually closed. He's also now married to a friend of one of my coworkers.

I also talked about a small entrepreneurial business my mom had with a family friend. It was LGBTQ+ based homemade jewellery that they sold at the farmer's market. I helped making some of the items. My Oma still wears earrings from that old business sometimes.

I did my Katimavik paperwork but don't think I got accepted this year. I started my gallery blog. Me and my father reunited.

Something I noticed is that I spoke a lot more vulgarly. This makes sense, as I wasn't worried about maintaining a professional voice at the time.

2010

I got accepted into Katimavik, a youth travel-volunteer program where you are randomly given three destinations across Canada, living and traveling with a group of people. You're assigned a work placement at a non-profit organization and do volunteer events and workshops on evenings and weekends. People in the house take turns as House Manager, who get to take a week off work so that they can take on most of the responsibilities for cooking and cleaning.

Our first rotation was in Summerside, Prince Edward Island. My placement was at Community Connections, a day program for people with developmental disabilities. I liked it so much it was an inspiration for me to go to college for social work, and my career path wound up being with this population.

Second rotation was Thunder Bay, Ontario. My placement was with the Regional Distribution Food Association, better known as the RFDA. It was like the food bank for food banks.

Third rotation was Chisasibi, Cree Nation, North Quebec. We didn't get placements here, instead we had three major projects. One was helping to overseee a powwow, another was living in a traditionally Cree way on an island called Fort George, and another was helping to look after kids at a summer camp.

I was selected as the Chairman for the Katimavik Communication Counsel twice. I also became the resident bread baker. We weren't allowed to purchase processed food unless it was donated as a gift, so everything had to be homemade. For a long time after this, I would only eat homemade bread, and I loved giving it to people randomly. It's an easy thing to do, and no one ever forgets that you did it for them. The first recipe I uploaded to Gryphood was "Katimabread". When I was interested in Lee-Anne, I made her a loaf of bread. After the diabetes diagnosis, I chilled out with this. 

Mom got her Hepatitus C diagnosis this year. They got evicted from our apartment within a week of me leaving for Katimavik. While I was gone, they moved into the place that burned down this year.

After completing Katimavik, I applied to and was accepted into its sister program, Canada World Youth. But because my mom was struggling with her Hep C treatment, I rejected the offer and decided to stay back until she was well.

2011

I got my first real, full-time work this year. It was at Linamar, a car parts manufacturing factory, at their LPP branch. Got it through a temp agency. I put springs and rockers into car axels and clutches

I also made the notorious post "Depressiion", on January 16. I have opted not to take it down, but it was pretty humiliating. I got blackout drunk and made a post that starts out pretty coherent but which spirals into nonsense.

I only did that once, but I talked too much about drinking in general. I guess I was newly of age and it still seemed novel. I didn't drink much, but when I did I blogged, and I mentioned it. I don't really do this anymore.

Mom successfully completed her Hepatitus C treatment. She says that she can't remember anything from the year she went through it, or the one after. Even after you recover from the disease, it takes time to come back from the treatment. 

In the back half of the year, I did Canada World Youth. In this one, you live for three months with a host family and someone from another country somewhere in Canada. Then you and the person you were living with go live somewhere in their country.

I was selected to stay in La Pocatiere, Quebec, and live with someone from Mali, a West African country. We worked as florists. Then we went to the village of Karadie, as I mentioned earlier in this blog, and worked as agriculturalists. 

2012

This year had more updates by far than any other to date, with a staggering 163! My grandma printed out all the entries I did on my Malian experience and it was over 200 pages! That's a novel!

Even though I'd completed the program, most of my updates were about Canada World Youth. I'd updated my travel blog in La Pocatiere, but we didn't have Internet access in Karadie, so I had to wait to write on the experience. When I got back, I had things to say!

This was the year I went to my grandparents place in Northern Ontario so that my grandpa could teach me how to drive. I wound up failing "without making any disqualifying errors, but an accumulation of minor ones". I still don't have the next level of my license! Took another crack at it this year but because of some clerical stuff, I wasn't able to test.

Mali had a military coup this year, creating the breakaway nation of Azawad. This wound up not lasting long term.

Canada discontinued pennies.

It was reported that someone in my Canada World Youth group had contracted Cutaneous Leishmaniasis, and we were all to see a doctor immediately. Because I'd developed the same symptoms as someone else in the program, I contacted him to ask if he was the one that got the diagnosis. He had.

I saw my family doctor, who referred me to a specialist for my "scaly, multiplaying red leisions". That guy would delay my appointment twice, far beyond the recommended period Canada World Youth had told us to get checked. When I finally did see him, he said that whatever it was, my body had fought it off. I told him what the going theory was, and he seemed agitated that I had an opinion on the matter.

After this, I wouldn't see my family doctor for ten years. At this time, she read the notes this specialist made, and he'd copied what I told him, but wrote it as his own thoughts! Like a joke that took ten years to tell.

The infection left a ring of blotchy red markings around my ankle for years. I liked them, but at some point they decided to heal. I didn't know scars could do that.

I applied for Conestoga College's Social Service Worker Program. Despite it saying they were still accepting applicants, I was rejected based on the fact that I applied "past the time of equal consideration". They offered me the Human Services Foundation college certificate program as compensation until I could apply for my preference the next year. It didn't seem financially responsible to do an additional year of college when it was unknown if I would need to do it, but at the time I was just so sick of factory work that I took the plunge.

I moved into Student Residence.

I got my first cell phone this year. I quickly noticed that everyone else had one. I went out and got the cheapest pay-as-you-go plan I could find. I got a flip phone, which was outdated even by the standards of the time. I liked it though. I only had to charge it once a week, instead of once a day. It was durable and I replaced it when I was ready to upgrade to a smart phone, not because it broke. Sometimes I miss it.

My Great Aunt Linda passed this year.

 2013

This year I graduated from Human Services Foundation and was accepted into Social Services.

I joined the Respect Campaign and became an English as an Additional Language Partner. I got a job working at the Information Desk.

I managed to blossom my first sunflower, which I got on the campus for Earth Day in a jiffy pot and brought home to Guelph. This began my love of sunflowers.

I moved into a room in a nearby house aimed at students, where I would live until the end of college.

I had a falling out with my father this year and we became estranged again.

2014

A classmate and friend of mine passed suddenly due to a rare autoimmune disease. She was only 19 years old. My great grandmother would also pass this year, just shy of her 101st birthday. Another friend gave birth. The start of new life, one cut short, and one ended after a great length of time. I don't know if there's any meaning behind it, but it sure sparked existential feelings at the time.

I got selected to do my student placement at WALES this year, which is where I've been working the past five years as of this entry. I also got a job being a Respect Leader for the Respect Campaign where I'd been volunteering. In this position, I led meetings and helped run campus events.

I also worked my first year as a Summer Program Leader at Extend-a-Family, which I would do four times over five years.

I was given that first spice rack that I finally got rid of this year. I updated my flip phone to a smart phone.

 I became 25 this year. Since schizophrenia runs in my family, I was very relieved to make it to this age without developing it. Most studies say that the risk decreases significantly past this point.

2015

I shaved my beard for a fundraiser, the only time I would do this in adult life.

I graduated from Social Services. I made a really funny entry on April 19, called "Forest Adventures". One of my favourites of all time. Me and some friends walk into the forest, get ambushed by snakes, and we chase a guy down through the woods, weirdly thinking that he might hurt himself because of our fresh egos as social service work graduates.

At my convocation, I remember setting my phone to "Airplane Mode" meaning that it shouldn't be able to ring. After putting on my gown, I felt it buzzing in my pocket. Puzzled, as it shouldn't be able to do that, I lifted my skirt, reached into my pocket and took the call. It was Emergency Services. Apparently Airplane Mode doesn't prevent you from calling them. They told me I should shut my phone off, as I'd apparently called them three times. They were able stop their people from showing up, but I almost had Emergency Services crash our convocation!

Also, because of some weird mixup, my full name Gryphon Walter Barent Sibbald came up instead of just my first and last. I got an especially large shout as I crossed the stage to receive my diploma, with my huge name being called out.

I moved out of student housing and into a place that I sublet for a bit.

I got a job as an Independent Facilitator with an organization now known as Bridges to Belonging, but at the time named Facile, and I took on several Direct Support Contracts with Extend-a-Family.

2016

Moved out of the place I was subletting from, as the owners came back. Moved into a townhouse where I would live for the next five years.

I left my job as an Independent Facilitator but kept my contracts with Extend-a-Family.

Pokemon Go came out this year, which I still play.

There was a weird incident in my townhouse complex where a bunch of guys showed up in unmarked vans, came out dressed in body armour, weilding assault rifles, and dragged out the residents of a neighbouring unit. Later, we found out that someone who wasn't on the lease had been staying there, who was a wanted murderer from Quebec.

My first set of roommates post-college moved out and I got a new one.

In Guelph, my childhood pet rabbit, Moss, passed away. 

2017

This year both the house in Guelph and the one in Kitchener flooded at the same time, for two different reasons.

I got my job as a Safe Management Instructor, which I'm still doing. I also got a full time job at a group home, working the night shift. It was for displaced youth, not strictly in the developmental sector.

One of my neighbours passed away from cancer.

I had another roommate shift out, and another shift in. I'd live with this new guy for the next three years though. We'd part ways because I would move somewhere new with Lee-Anne.

I got accepted into the Social Development Studies program at University of Waterloo. I tried to quit my group home job, but they offered me sleep shifts. Getting paid to sleep was too good to pass up. This led to my most insane work saga.

I was working full time, doing four Direct Support Contracts, and five University courses. I didn't have a vehicle, so my schedule was so packed that I almost never had time to be home. I found ways to do every life necessity while working. I slept at the group home and did my laundry there. I kept my clothes in my backpack. I brought some people to a pool, so I'd bring a bar of soap and shower on the job.

And sleep shifts don't guarantee any rest. If things are going down, you have to address it. Eventually I quit the group home job.

At University I took an intro to art class, which is how I got into painting.

2018

I've got a fun post this year, titled "Malevich", posted February 28. It was about a presentation I did for a Russian Studies class, where I covered the artsyle Supremetism and sold the class on a piece called Black Square. I end the post saying "I should just move to Russia". Based on how things are right now, I'm really glad I didn't!

Another fun one is titled "Chocolate Favoris". One time, in Canada World Youth, we were at an ice cream shop. The person asked what kind of chocolate I wanted, I just said "non" reflexively. Later, I learned that the chocolate was there specialty. I used to joke that one of our cultural integration techniques of asking ourselves if we would be mad five minutes, five days, five weeks, months or years told me that I should be mad, since I still wanted that chocolate! Well, a branch opened in Guelph and this covers my experience there.

I also had "The Hat Man" on October 28. It was a good year for fun posts.

This year I got my job at WALES. I dropped out of University to take the opportunity. Unfortunately, one of the members that I had been looking forward to working with again passed, suddenly and unexpectedly, right before I could start.

Marijuanna was legalized in Canada.

The family friend that my mom had that entrepreneurial business passed away this year. I felt bad because she used to always say I would get married, and she looked forward to coming to my wedding. I told her not to count on it. But this year, I'd met Lee-Anne and was planning to ask her out. But I never told the family friend this, and she never got to meet her.

2019

This year introduced the ION Lightrail system. It was the cause of constant construction ever since I'd moved to Kitchener. I didn't have high hopes for it and even made a post talking about how it was nothing special after I tried it. But given time, I've become quite the fan. I almost never need to use a bus anymore.

There was a shooting near where I lived which really scared me. It was at 5 PM, in an area I often went, and two bystanders had been hit.

I changed the name of the blog from "Lair of the Gryphon" to "The Gryphon's Perch"

I asked out Lee-Anne this year. Our first date was at a bubble tea shop near the University of Waterloo.  I managed to grow sunflowers at the townhouse for the first time, which I took as a good sign. It's a big reason our wedding would be sunflower themed.

I adopted my cat Kieran this year! I partially did it to impress Lee-Anne, as I knew she loved cats. But I'd wanted one ever since I moved out, I just never felt stable enough. I figured I'd survived long enough on my own to put a little trust in myself.

In Guelph, beloved family cat Luna passed suddenly at only ten years old.

2020

Infamously, this was the year of the COVID-19 pandemic. In March, we were put into lockdown measures and my work turned remote. Everyone was panic buying. Weird times.

Earlier that year, my Uncle Steve passed away.

My roommate developed kidney failure and I had to call 911 for him. He wound up recovering.

George Floyd was murdered, sparking a resurgence in the Black Lives Matter movement.

I helped my Guelph family and someone else adopt cats. Both of them would die unexpectedly a few years later, making me not want to help anyone with adoption ever again.

I started my Gryphood blog. Found an old recipe my boss at the time gave us for a crockpot Thanksgiving Dinner on October 14. I was wondering if I still had it somewhere. Posting the date here so I can find it again.

I inherited the remains of a trust fund that I'd used to help me through college.

Me and Lee-Anne moved out of the townhouse and into the place where we currently live.

Granddad experienced an episode that would cause his to rapidly decline.

2021

Canada had its worst spree shooting in history. Some dentist in Nova Scotia went on a rampage.

We adopted our second cat Finn this year from Lee-Anne's sister in law.

Wow, not much happened this year. Lowest total post count of any year, too.

2022

Lee-Anne found my personal white whale for lost media, the Friends of the Forest theme song. I have it included in the February 5th post, titled "My Hot Ones Interview"

One of the Guelph cats, Blackavar, passed away. Peacefully and at a decent age.

I got reassessed for ADHD as an adult. I was confirmed to still have it and was even upgraded from the Primarily Inattentive type to Combined. They detected hyperactivity in me.

I visited my doctor for the first time in ten years and got diagnosed diabetic. I got on meds and made some quick recovery, dropping my A1C from 11.5 to 5.9 and losing 35 pounds.

2023

Randomly, me and two others were requested by the city's fire fighters to develop a workshop for them on de-escalation. We did a series of sessions until every one of them in Kitchener had attended.

Me and Lee-Anne got married! My coworkers threw us a wedding shower. I managed to blossom a record number of sunflowers. On our way home, someone had taped a single red rose to a beam in front of our home street. Must have been a coincidence, but it felt fated for us.

The two remaining Guelph cats, Cassidy and Thor, passed away. Thor was like 20 but Cassidy was ony seven or eight. This is when I vowed to not help people adopt cats. But it just so happened that Lee-Anne's sister in law had new kittens, and she, my mom, and my brother would all be at the same place because of the wedding.

So Castor and Pollux were adopted on the day me and Lee-Anne got married.

Near the end of the year, we all got COVID. I had managed to avoid it this long, as had my mom and brother. Lee-Anne had had it before, but she got it again. It wasn't too bad.

And that's that! 14 and 1/4 years of documented living. I'm not doing too much proofreading, this is really long. Hopefully it reads alright. With this, I have completed my New Year's Resolution of getting to my 1000th post with 42 updates.

Christmas 2024

I was invited to Lee-Anne's family's place in Brampton for a Christmas celebration. However, since Granddad had passed just two days prior, it seemed better for me to stay in Kitchener with Mom. This made sense to everyone. 

I'll still be heading out to Brampton tomorrow and I think there's some kind of celebration on Saturday. Lee-Anne's family is big enough that they have to do it in pieces. I did make it to one of their events about a week ago, before the news about Granddad.

Mom didn't feel like having a traditional Christmas, so instead of turkey or ham, we had lasagna. She and Lee-Anne say they'll tag-team a more classic dinner at a later date. They volunteered that, I don't feel entitled to anything special. Plus, obviously me and my brother can contribute. 

The lasagna was still pretty good, and we got to try out their new dining room table. One of my coworkers dropped one off, along with an old coffee table on Christmas Eve. Since she'd been on vacation she didn't know about Granddad and I didn't share. Didn't feel like ruining the Christmas cheer.

Likewhys, I'll need to request January 2nd off work, which would be our first day back. My Granddad's ceremony will be that day. It shouldn't be a problem, as my boss explicitly told me to let them know if I needed to take time off for a funeral. But I only learned of the new arrangement on the 25th, and our work chat was full of Merry Christmases. I didn't want to kill the vibe.

My coworker's old coffee table is solid. I was a little leary of the dining room table, as it seemed a little wobbly at first. But it was given to us with the legs detached and me and my brother assembled it by hand without any tools. So it could be that we just didn't get it quite tight enough. When we were eating dinner, I didn't notice it feeling wobbly at all. It's a perfect size for their space, too.

They also got some more stuff from my cousin, who was storing a few things for them and also passed down some knicknacks of her own. Her mother, who is an artist, came along and gave a few of her paintings. She gave one to us as a wedding gift. Between her art, mine, and a couple pieces from another aunt's, they have a nice family gallery going on.

Lee-Anne's parents followed through on delivering the couch and armchair from her grandmother's old house. We also donated an old TV monitor, so the place has filled out quite a bit. Feeling much more like home.

Because everyone has put so much into rebuilding their space, we didn't do a traditional gift exchange. At least not between our household and theirs.

It was a white Christmas. The weather has trended warmer the past few years, but it's been pretty reliably cold and snowy this time around. I've heard some people complaining, but with my climate anxiety I celebrate every frosty day. 

I didn't get around to posting about it, but me and Lee-Anne went to Christkindl Market a little while ago. It's a seasonal event that celebrates Christmas from the lens of Kitchener's German heritage. It was uncomfortably, but appropriately cold. Felt very festive.

This is my 999th post. One of my New Year's resolutions for 2024 was to make it to 1000. I think I can do it.

Granddad Passed

Today, my Granddad passed away. Two days ago we received news from my Oma that he had been hospitalized. This wasn't the first time, so it was difficult to gauge severity. We got a better idea when she followed up by saying that the doctors were going to try to keep him alive long enough for her to see him.

It was an unfortunate coincidence that Oma was in New York at the time. It's a rare occurence that she isn't in the retirement residence with Granddad. She got an emergency flight and managed to return home that night, in what would turn out to be ample time.

The doctors estimated he could live anywhere between a few hours and a few days. It turned out to be the latter, which gave my mother the chance to ride in the next day and be there for his last evening and morning.

At the time of his passing, he was with his wife and two daughters. He had been listening to his favourite piece, "Mahler - Symphony No. 2", which I am listening to as I write this. It's an hour and a half long. What I've been told is that he gave his last breath just as the music closed. My aunt made the sweet observation that he carried his favourite music over with him.

Granddad had not been well for a few years. If you've been following my blog, you'll have heard me speak to this. He experienced a sharp cognitive decline after an event that sounded like a stroke, but was ruled out as such by doctors. I thought I may have written about it on here, but looking back, the closest mention I can find of him to the event is when he met Lee-Anne for the first time in 2020. I think I opted not to post anything about it, as he was a fan of my blog and still lucid enough to potentially read it. Not that I had anything mean to say, but it might be awkward to read your grandson talking about your failing health publicly.

I believe I did speak on the topic when I later made a painting of him and posted it on a year-in-review entry. I also mentioned why he couldn't come to mine and Lee-Anne's wedding when I wrote about that as well.

In the past four years, he transitioned from seeming "off" to those that knew him, but passing for normal publicly, to forgetting important details but still able to follow a conversation, to losing his ability to regularly speak and walk.

His mother had fallen to a similar illness in her late life. Before his decline, Granddad made it known that he did not want to live to experience such a state himself. As a University Professor of Sociology, he loved his job so much that he joked that he'd never retire, opting to die mid-lecture. His intellect was obviously very important for him. This made seeing his regression more painful to the people in his network.

But he didn't lose everything. Despite being functionally nonverbal, he could still read aloud and sing. The human brain is fascinating. He held onto a few words that he could use for communication as well. He still obviously loved socializing and having company over. He would smile contentedly eating lunch with his family and look to each of us with what seemed like recognition.

Growing up I always knew him to have a strong focus on physical health. His efforts may explain why he showed such resiliency even as he cognitively waned. However, his discipline did eventually slip, revealing a secret love of ice cream.

Lee-Anne speculates that somewhere deep down, he was waiting for his daughters to be okay before letting go. My mother had lost her home in a fire this year, as I've spoken to. After four months of living with us, we managed to lease her a new apartment. She'd continued to stay at our place though, finding the new residence daunting in its emptyness. Last week we finally moved her stuff out of storage and some people gave a few pieces of furniture. This made it comfortable enough that she was willing to move in with her two cats.

She's been there about a week. Maybe Granddad felt he could move on now that Mom has found stability. It's a nice thought.

Doppelganger Cat

Last February, I got a call at work from Lee-Anne. It was about our cat Finn. This one:

He had urinated blood into the litter box. We managed to book an emergency apppointment at our vet and I took the rest of the day off. I feared the worst. At the time, a few cats in my network had recently experienced misfortune. 

My mother and brother's Cassidy had passed away from cancer, originally thought to be a respiratory infection. This was only three years after I'd helped them adopt her. Another person that I'd supported in a similar way lost her cat from a stroke unexpectedly. Both were adopted within a week of each other, and had passed within a month. It seemed like the bad luck for felines had caught up to our household.

The vet's diagnosis was unexpected. We were told that he had managed to urinate successfully with assistance, although he had been on the verge of requiring surgery. He had gotten to this state from anxiety. That seems like such a human disorder.

Apparenty they usually experience an influx of cats with similar symptoms around the same time every year, due to stress from get-togethers and new furniture arriving during the Christmas season. Cats tend to hide their symptoms and therefor have a delayed reaction from when they are impacted, explaining how he'd only got this way a couple months later.

We hadn't thrown any parties at our place. We did receive a few new large items through gifts. We figured it could have been because we had been gone on several trips.

The  vet complimented him on being a very good cat. An early sign is normally to start peeing in areas outside the litter box after they begin to associate it with pain. But Finn never did this. He also hadn't shown any resistance in the office, despite his usually pink nose being a deep red, indicating a racing heart.

We got him on a couple of medications, which caused his whole body to loosen up. Unfortunately this meant that he leaked everywhere. The mess was the secondary grievance. The first was that he was helpless to maintain the cleanliness he had taken so seriously even while in pain. It was distressing to see him cleaning himself so rigorously and futilely.

But he did get better. Flash forward a little bit, and him and his brother Kieran were sitting in our kitchen window. I suddenly heard a growl and rushed to check what was happening. It isn't unheard of for some backyard critter to show up and cause a commotion. Usually Finn runs away despite being the one with the "athletic build" while Kieran stands his ground.

This time was the reverse. Finn had his tail puffed and his face locked to the window screen. Cautious, and despite being worried that his hunter instincts would kick in, I slowly closed the glass door between him and whatever intruder lurked outside. He bounced to the kitchen floor but continued to stare intently.

As I looked into the night, trying in vain to see what had caused the disruption, I saw something very strange. Finn approached from the other side of the window. I did a double take, glancing behind me to find our beloved cowcat was also safely, abeit frenzied, inside our kitchen.

I can't guarantee that the patterns were exactly the same, but they were similar enough that it fooled me in the moment. I was telling this story to a coworker the next day, and she pointed out how this fit my description of a poltergeist.

I don't think there are any hard definitions of spectral beings, but I'd been reading something that described poltergeists as projections of energy from the living. As opposed to ghosts, which are the lingering presence of people who have passed. I clung to this definition, as I had experienced a very strange phenomenon over the course of three sets of roommates. In isolation, each had claimed to see me in places where I verifiably wasn't. At the time of each sightinh I had been experiencing a great amount of shame. It made sense to me that my disturbed energy was projecting this spectral lookalike. This is probably the weirdest story I have, and one I often hesitate to share.

Now, knowing that Finn had an anxiety disorder, it was easy to imagine that he had summoned this spectral cowcat from outside. Sensing himself as a disturbed energy being may have caused him to react more aggressively than he would to the average outdoor cat.

This explanation is strange enough, but let me posit one more. One time, when I was walking the Iron Horse Trail, I ran across one of those missing cat posters. This one featured seven cats that had all vacated their home during a house fire. All of them had the cowprint pattern, and one of their names was... Finn.

We don't have seven cats, and the two we had were accounted for the morning of my walk. Even if a fire had occured, there's no way a poster could have gone up at that part of the trail between the time I left and when I got there. Even though the story was so disconnected with my reality, I still felt the need to call Lee-Anne to make sure everything was alright at home. Everything was fine.

But it's such a weird coincidence. Finn isn't a particularly intuitive name for a cowprint kitty. It's not even a classic cat name. What were the odds that two lookalikes with the same name could exist in the same neighbourhood?

So now I must put forward the possibility of a very strange quirk of fate. There is a non-negligible chance that our Finn was approached by this cat that had escaped a housefire, who didn't just have the same pattern as him, but the same name.

Guelph Storage Move

Today we moved my family's things into the new place. I've already blogged about it, but after the incident with the fire, they put most of their possessions into storage. Since none of us drive, they weren't able to move everything in on the first day of their lease. 

They have some things that they've accumulated during their stay with us for day to day necessity, such as mattresses, blankets, sheets and laundry hampers, as well as a few things they decided not to put in storage, mostly electronics like laptops, but also some paintings and books. 

They've since got some survival stuff to make the mostly empty unit more livable in the short term, such as dollar store cookware; a frying pan, baking sheet, casserol dish, measuring spoons and cups, and cutlery. Lee-Anne and I went to a few thrift stores and got them some things, like a bread bin since their cats love bread for some reason. Maybe not to eat, but they love to carry and drag it around.

We also got a bean bag chair. Not exactly something we went looking for, and it was kind of inconvenient to travel over the light rail. But it was just comfortable, cheap, and light enough to make it worth it. Hitching it over my shoulder made me feel like Santa Clause, as it gave the impression of his giant sack of toys. I am also a decent likeness of the Christmas icon.

I gave them my two folding tables and one folding chair that I used to use when I painted, and some plates and bowls from back in my bachelor days that somehow survived this long. They got their wooden bowls, made by the same guy that made mine and Lee-Anne's. 

I also gave them our birch tree painting, which I've posted about on here when I was speculating on why artists love them so much. I got it from a thrift store when I discovered the concept of decorating. This ushered in a phase of just throwing random things I thought looked nice on walls. The birch painting was the only piece that has survived from that era. No sentimental value, but looks just a little too nice to get rid of.

We found some yellow wooden chairs that someone was throwing out. We also came across a couch that looked in good repair, but it's harder to tell with softer furniture if it's safe or not. It could be infested or broken in a way that isn't obvious. Also, it was snowing and while it looked fresh, it had been left to the elements at least a little while. Still, at various points each of us walked by and it looked good enough to make each of us think about taking it.

Anyway, today a family friend helped us move the items from storage.  He's one of the people that took my mother and brother in after the fire and helped us salvage as much as we could from the old place. He rented a truck and me, him and my brother moved everything in one go. 

It wasn't as difficult as I was afraid it could be. Worst thing that happened was a box full of books broke open, but we just put them into the empty chest freezer. Getting all the new stuff into the new apartment was easy because they're on the first floor. Instead of moving everything through the lobby, we were able to bring most of it via the balcony. There were a few larger items that we needed to move through the front door. All told, it took about four hours.

Some of their old stuff is sort of obsolete at this point. They may eventually need their mini fridge and chest freezer, but the place is currently sparse enough that it's hard to imagine. They brought in a toaster oven, but that was mostly a replacement for their oven at the old place, since it had become unreliable. The one here is brand new, and the office staff seem attentive enough to help out if the need ever arose, unlike the landlord where they used to live. The unit came with a microwave, so they won't need the one they brought from storage.

They didn't manage to get much furniture out of the old place. What they had was already pretty worn in, and most of it was damaged by water and smoke during the fire.  But recently, Lee-Anne's grandmother moved out of her old place and is downsizing, so her family has offered a couch and an armchair. I've got a coworker that has offered to donate a coffee table. The only large-ish thing that's still unaccounted for is a computer desk, but it's all coming together.

As an aside, if you've been following the blog, my work's audit went fine. Apparently the person that came to inspect only had nice things to say. I shouldn't say I'm surprised, but it was still a relief to hear.