Neil Gaiman is a Monster

The dawning of the Internet changed the way we interact and perceive others significantly. Massive amounts of information were no longer held behind the paywall of purchase or the requirement of patience. It was no longer as easy for organizations to safeguard knowledge. People became able to connect with each other behind the veil of anonymity and the fear of social repercussion reduced.

Then social media changed the Internet landscape. We became able to maintain connection with people we knew in real life that would have fallen out of our circles otherwise. It became common to have a list of hundreds of friends. Keeping up to date with people no longer required interaction, as individuals would make generalized posts about their life to the public.

With this development, suddenly the Internet transitioned from being about anonymity to the death of privacy. Every update you made was timestamped and preserved indefinitely on an account locked to your identity. Social media companies like Meta were outed for preserving even deleted information, and it was revealed that governments were invasively tracking the digital activity of private citizens.

But many high ranking people were not quick to sense the shift in environment. Abuses that were previously held behind closed doors and subject to he-said she-said dialog were now being committed via the medium of the Internet. Victims gained the ability to preserve evidence far more efficiently, ultimately acting as a Catalyst for the Me Too movement. The world could no longer ignore the prevalence of sexual abuse in many of our industries, and pessimism regarding previously aspirational individuals grew.

When it came to corrupt famous people that were responsible for creative works, fans were asked the question "Can you separate the art from the artist?" When large quantities decided that they could not, the phrase "Cancel Culture" emerged. A term often used condescendingly for the phenomenon of monstrous but talented people losing the opportunity to distribute their work based on moral failing.

For a long time I was lucky. No one that I admired was outed as an abuser. Until now.

Neil Gaiman has, until maybe recent events, been full-stop my favourite contemporary author. Of his novels, I'd read Neverwhere, American Gods, Anansi Boys, Coraline, Stardust, The Graveyard Book, and his collaborative work with Terry Pratchet, Good Omens. I'd seen the film adaptation of Stardust as well. I'd been planning on getting around to watching his short TV series for American Gods and Good Omens, but I don't know if I'll bother now. Neverwhere was for a long time one of my top five books, but it has been long enough that I would need to revisit it to see if my adult self agrees. Before everything came out, my mother gave Lee-Anne a copy of Watership Down and Neverwhere as a birthday gift, figuring that they were the two most beloved novels on our side of the family.

All this to say, this year five women have come forward with accusations against Gaiman. The claims are too grizzly for me to be comfortable detailing here, but they are of a sexual nature and extreme.  Legal systems have yet to come to a conclusion, and obviously just because someone makes claims, doesn't mean they're true. If you're famous, inevitably someone is trying to tear you down. However, Gaiman has admitted to some wrongdoing while denying the bulk of it. Even the stuff he's confirmed is enough to end his career, and it evokes the question of whether or not he's only shared what he knows he can't get away from.

He's said that there are things in the accusations that he "half-recognizes" and some that he doesn't. He's said that he's never knowingly engaged in non-consensual activity. He's cited the fact that he polyamorous, involved in fetish communities and was in an open relationship at the time.

In terms of his claiming ignorance to the consensual nature of his relationships, I am not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he were a famous athlete or chef or something, maybe. But he's an author. One that has proven adept at writing female perspective. He understands women, yet he still acted the way that he did.

As far as the open relationship, fetish, and polyamory thing goes, I think it should be obvious that those are not excuses for abuse. He's being honest in that he was a part of those communities and had spoken at length about it before all this came out. I don't have any issues with people engaging in that lifestyle. In fact, in my opinion it's fully disconnected to his behaviour and he's dragging those communities down in an attempt at redirection.

Both him and his wife at the time have chosen to be mostly silent, saying that their primary responsibility is to their son. I could respect that, but if some of the claims are true, then the kid was involved in ways that I would qualify as child abuse. It doesn't give the impression of a history of protective parenting. Gaiman has fully denied those claims though, for whatever that's worth.

It wasn't a spike in ego that came with his rise to fame that corrupted Gaiman. These accusations span a very wide breadth of time and implies that he's been like this for as long as he was able.

It makes you kind of side-eye Terry Pratchett as well, a fellow author with a similar writing style who collaborated on a book with him. He's now passed and has maintained a pristine reputation. There's some hope for Pratchett's authenticity, as he only did one collaboration and it was Gaiman's very first novel. The two of them were sort of famously friends, though.

It might be argued that at a systemic level, JK Rowling, author of Harry Potter has done more damage. She leveraged her fame to attack the trans community, impacting a larger quantity of people. But at least she can speak to her views and believes in herself, whereas Gaiman's behaviour is unambiguously monstrous. He knew that he had to hide his actions because there's no way to justify them.

Some people claim that his true self was reflected in his works but I feel like that's confirmation bias at play. I can only speak for myself, but I was completely blindsided by the news and hadn't pick up on a hint of it from his novels. It tempts an old perspective that I used to have, which is that talented people are usually immoral. Depressing. With the rise of AI and the question of the value of authenticity, I think this is a point against humanity. While Gaiman is human, he created great works that, in my opinion, communicated nothing of his true self.

The only thing I can claim as far as my ability to detect his cloaked evil nature, is that I always said he was the perfect example of a "backpfeifengesicht", the German word for "Face that needs a fist". I'm on record as saying that, despite loving his work, there is no one else that evokes in me as much of an urge to clobber them. No rationalle, just a vibe. I was emphatic enough about this that I was told a few times that I was weird about it. With recent revelations, that impulse seems more justifiable.

Outdoor Cats

Nowadays, it's frowned on to have an outdoor cat. If you're adopting from the humane society, they will disqualify you as a potential owner for saying that you won't keep them indoors. It was the same for the place I got Kieran, and where my mother and brother got Cassidy.

The present opinion of experts is that this form of ownership creates too much risk for stress, disease, and injury coming from exposure to the elements, as well as malicious animals and humans. Me and Lee-Anne follow this line of thinking and keep our guys indoors, even though it's tempting to give into their pleas to follow their animal instincts into the world beyond the kitchen window.

Because we are so up to date on the recent studies, it is our right to turn up our noses in judgement when we see evidence of owners that have not done likewhys. But I must confess, it's pretty gratifying to get to know the neighbourhood cats.

There's a big tabby named MJ who sits on the porch of his owners. He's extremely social and will often let out a high pitched mew and wander to the bottom of his front steps to be patted and scratched. Despite being quick to approach, he won't follow you far.

It's always funny to see him come up to other people in the neighbourhood. He treats everyone with fairly uniform affection, but most people seem to think they have a special relationship. I saw a post on the Kitchener subreddit with a photo of him, asking if he was a stray. There was a flurry of posts naming him and assurances that he was cared for.

We learned MJ's name when his owner was outside with him one day. We asked for the name of the cat but forgot to ask for the man's. Despite the initials usually being a shorthand for "Mary Jane", apparently MJ is a male cat.

This is Bell, maybe Belle. Like MJ, he's a boy cat with a feminine name. He comes from a home with a few small children and their house flies the Progress Pride flag. So I imagine a scenario where the parents let the kids give the name, and when, not yet biased by gender norms, they suggested "Bell", they went with it instead of encouraging something more traditional.

Bell is friendly, but not quite as outgoing as MJ. He'll watch you from a distance, and if you call him, he'll approach with caution. He often goes on walks with his family, who also own a dog.

Every once in a while, Finn and Kieran will get into a row with something in the backyard. Very different reaction to how they acted when introduced to Castor and Pollux. Eventually I learned that the outdoor entity is usually Bell. He's got a wider range in terms of territory compared to MJ. Now when I shoo away the invader, I call him by name.

There's another cat that is often in proximity to Bell. They're a bit smaller with longer fur. A bit more shy but with some coaxing I've managed to give it some pets. I don't know the name of this one. One time, it jumped down from a tree when I was walking by and startled me.

Far up the Iron Horse Trail, there is a black cat that greets passers by. Possibly more affectionate than MJ, it will meow and pressy face, bask around on the ground and show its tummy. I've struck up conversations with other trail walkers about this cat, as it's so well known and trusting. A curious trait considering the area territory is a high traffick place for dogs.

During our first year in the nieghbourhood, we used to see this grey cat a lot. Just as affectionate as the black one, but it's been a while. Hopefully, the owner just moved away.

We met this multi-coloured cat outside the cherry festival last year. It was very affectionate, but this was just a one-off encounter. We don't spend as much time in that area though, and we're going again this year, so maybe we'll see this guy again.

Garden 2025

It's the Victoria Day weekend and therefore time to put in the bulk of the garden. It doesn't feel like it, as the weather is still oddly cool. We had our first barbecue yesterday and it was chilly enough to see my breath. 

We got seeds and seedlings yesterday but we're putting them in the ground today. We already have a lot of sunflowers going. Last year, I tried three batches of them with very poor luck. The first round were planted directly in the soil but squirrels dug them up. The second two were grown in jiffy pots to get them past the seed stage, but something still found them appetizing. 

I built a shelter around them that I weighted down with rocks, but every day I would see a pile set aside and a couple of sunflowers munched on. The usual suspects were squirrels but the way the barrier was dismantled made it look like the work of something with hands. I imagined a raccoon but that doesn't seem like their behaviour.

Eventually I put enough weight on that whatever was doing it got discouraged. But the third round of flowers were slowly eaten by insects. This was all after the previous year, where we had a record number of blossoms.

So in 2025 I've been a little discouraged and Lee-Anne has subsequently taken most of the initiative. She has had a shocking amount of success and I'm not too proud to say it, but I've been slightly miffed that she's done so well when she keeps making what I perceive to be mistakes.

She started with jiffy pots in the stairwell with indirect sunlight, causing them to grow spindly and unable to support their own weight. We put them out long before recommended, and due to the uncharacteristic cold weather, they've had to survive multiple frosts. But they've somehow managed to correct their posture and brave the elements. I think they've grown beyond the point where animals perceive them as food.

 We have, I think, 9 kong sunflowers growing strong, reduced from an attempted 12. Those are the ones that grow taller than people. I've always wanted them but I haven't seen them available. One of my old neighbour's managed to grow them from random birdseed and he gave me a head one year, but I've never managed to grow second-generation flowers.

As far as our other plants go, as usual we have cucumbers, snow peas, and tomatoes. The latter are Early Girls as that's what I've had success with. This year we're trying a bell pepper. I've attempted hot peppers in the past without success, but it seems people consider bell peppers as being at a similar level of difficulty to our three standard crops, so I'm hesitantly optimistic.

We're trying herbs again. We didn't have much luck last year, but Lee-Anne thinks the issue may have been the soil, so we're correcting that and making another attempt. She's got parsely and mint, and I got chamomile because I know a rookie gardener who's having some success with it.

When Googling easy outdoor plants, I saw a suggestion to get marigolds. Apparently they encourage pollinators and discourage pests. So we got some of those, and I think Lee-Anne got two other types that have a similar nature.

It's fun to continue experimenting with different garden formats!

This last bit is off-topic, but the 12th of this month was my mom's 60th birthday. Me and my brother made her cannelloni, since I recently learned that was once her favourite food. My brother got her an outdoor table and chair for their patio, and I got her a bookcase. The last things they needed to unpack were all books, so I thought it was practical.

The reason this birthday is worth pointing out is that it was the night of the Flower Moon. This, coupled with the fact that it's the year of the Wood Snake, which she is, really makes it seem like it should be her year.

DVD Player

We recently got a DVD player. In this age of streaming services, it's not uncommon for households to go without devices for physical media. When Netflix was dominating the market, this seemed ike a pretty good deal. Unlimited, on-demand, ad-free shows and movies at a marked down price. 

But as time ticked forward, rivals got introduced. Content got divided between them, so being subscribed to only one service wasn't enough. Prices kept climbing. Ads got incorporated. They even put in tracking systems to make sure you weren't sharing your account over multiple households.

Many sports fans have stuck to cable because streaming doesn't offer the live experience. However, I watched one of the US presidential debates over Disney+ as it happened, which make you wonder what's holding them back. Later, an attempt at documenting a young Youtube star box an elderly legend of the sport showcased the limits of what streaming can do. I didn't watch it, but apparently the quality was bad.

An expensive service that requires access to multiple paid channels, with ads, and is anchored to your home address? Thats just cable with extra steps. At least it's still view-on-demand.

But a big problem with these streaming services is that they need to pay the original creator a certain amount regularly. This has sparked an increase in content made by the streaming service itself. However, demand for new work has shrunk. Old classics draw more attention than new works and even modern titles try to reflect old hits, acting as sequels, prequels, or reinterpretations. I've got some theories on this phenomenon but we won't get into it now.

So, streaming services are still beholden to works belonging to others and must pay regular fees to survive. This means that anything you enjoy that isn't owned by the organization may be removed if it stops being profitable. Just yesterday I looked up The Joy of Painting on Netflix and it wasn't there anymore.

So you can only guarantee available, unedited media if you have a physical copy. Ergo, we got a DVD player. This led me to explore my old CDs and VHS tapes that I still have from the pre-streaming age.

I didn't remember how... masculine a lot of the media I consumed was. Not manly per se, just marketed toward a male audience. This includes:

The entire Seinfeld series (I saw a video of some People of Colour attempting to guess their friends favourite shows and movies. Since he was White, they guessed Seinfeld and Its Always Sunny in Philedelphia)

Taledega Nights (A mid-range move about racecars starring Will Ferral. It did spawn some iconic quotes)

Inception (I was encouraged to buy this because "I'm smart" but the actual content of the movie is pretty easily replicable because you just have to say "That was a dream" to explain anything")

I Pity The Fool (Made by Mr. T. It's a subversion of masculinity, done by someone perceived as macho who engages people in solving their problems by more introspective means. Still marketed to men)

The Rocky movies, one to five (Classic movies of resillience, about boxing. My brother has referenced it often)

The Godfather trilogy (controversial opinion, but only the first one was worth watching. In the recent Barbie movie, when they're trying to thwart the Kens by appealing to their male ego, they ask one of them to explain the Godfather trilogy)

Jaws (just stay out of the water please. The shark can't get you on land)

The Aristocats (Sole example of something I owned that was actively not marketed to a male audience)

Me and Lee-Anne were recently watching Call the Midwife and I said to her "If this were up to my college-aged self, we would probably have wound up watching some White male garbage" and she said "Well, now you have me, so you get to watch some White female garbage"