Weekend in Guelph

We just passed the May 24 weekend, which is the traditional time to garden. Last year we attempted a little sunflower patch which was unsuccessful, and this year we're trying the exact same thing! Slightly different location, we're trying in the backyard instead of the front, and we're doing different types. Last year we did standard sunflowers, I think Lemon Queen, and this year we're trying to grow purple ones and Teddy Bears

Lemon Queen

Teddy Bear

Purple

None of these are flowers we've grown, just examples. I think I got the purple seeds for Christmas and Lee-Anne picked the Teddy Bears.

We planted flower bulbs last year and they've grown decently this year. We just got through daffodil season and now we have tulips.

For the long weekend, we went to Guelph. To be honest, not much went according to plan. We weren't able to book a room at the hotel we wanted, so we got one at a Days Inn. That was fine, it was just a little further out so it made it harder to get to my mom and brother's place.

I forgot to bring my mom's mother day/birthday present which was earlier in the month.

We went to My Kitty Cafe, where my mom and brother adopted their cat Cassidy. I think the place is in an awkward inbetween state in terms of their COVID measures. Before the pandemic, it was a proper cafe where you could eat and drink in the presence of cats without a strict time restraint. In the pandemic, only one group could go in at a time and it was restricted to 50 minutes. Now, there is still a time limit, but multiple groups can go in if the total number of people is under 10. Including us, there were three groups with a total of seven people during our timeslot. I feel like the time limit incentivizes people to go after the cats' attention as much as possible, which was okay when it was just one group at a time, but with the relaxed occupancy rules, it causes the cats to be a little over socialized, making them more reserved.

We still had a good time

They write the names of all the cats that have been adopted on the walls. Apparently Cassidy was the 886th.

It was a Pokemon Go Community Day, and both my mom and brother are super into it so it was cool that we got to play it together. Except, we only made it a little way up the street when we heard a hideous roar from the wind and a violent storm suddenly descended on us, ripping a tree branch out right in front of us. We had to run all the way home and when we got back the power was out. Apparently a bunch of branches fell on a bunch of transformers. We found a candle and lit it, and I hung up my shirt because we couldn't dry it right away with the power out. Usually I stay at the house, which would mean I'd have a spare set of clothes, but this time all my stuff was at the hotel (luckily Lee-Anne was at the mall and sheltered).

Here's a pic of some torn out tree branches.

I figured this was just a Guelph thing but apparently it hit Kitchener just as bad. In fact, if we'd been at home we would have lost power as well. The cats didn't need it though.

We were going to explore my old neighbourhood, but I found myself unexpectedly busy with school (for some reason, we had something due on a Sunday over a long weekend). We did manage to visit the University of Guelph Campus, although not far enough to visit the Arboretum.

We did get to see the Guelph Gryphon statue

ADHD Reassessment

Recently I got reassessed for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder). When I was young, I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADD, now known as ADHD with Inattention. I've mentioned it on the blog before, but I think I actually deleted my comment on it.  One of my readers encouraged me not to talk about it publicly since I was looking for work at the time and this blog shows up as one of the first hits if you Google my name. He thought it would be better to not release that information in case a potential employer decided to do some background research. But now I'm comfortably employed at an agency which should really not discriminate for such things, and I wouldn't want to work for someone who would hold that against me, anyway.

When I was young, my grade 1 teacher thought I might have autism because of the way I would rock back and forth. That got disproven, and then people thought I might be deaf and blind, so they sent me to get checked and it turned out my senses were perfect. Eventually they landed on Inattentive ADD.

I spent some time in an alternative classroom in elementary and middle school and used an Independent Education Plan. Eventually I managed to catch up and haven't used any accommodations since highschool. Because of my eventual success, I came to wonder if the diagnosis still held weight, or if I just lagged in school because of some of my life circumstances growing up.

So I got reassessed. First they had me do a pre-assessment, which was just a series of questions. Based on my answers, it was decided that I could potentially have it, so they had me do five more tests. Based on those answers, they thought I was ready to have a verbal consultation. After talking to someone for about an hour, I was told that not only do I have the inattentive type, I am also hyperactive! So I'm now ADHD Combined. 

I had a going theory for awhile that the difference between Hyperactive and Inattentive ADHD was only the difference between introversion and extraversion. I'd never met a hyperactive introvert or an inattentive extravert before. I thought it was the difference between whether or not you pointed your chaos inward or out, and since I identify as an introvert, it made sense that I was the inattentive type.

This time I was told that because my behaviour wasn't disruptive in class, this could have led me to being misdiagnosed, because I clearly had a lot of energy that was trying to be put to use. This came through when I told her that one of the reasons I initially got assessed was because I couldn't stop rocking back and forth in class. I mentioned that I got put in a support group for hyperactives and even though I thought I was misplaced, the teacher pointed to me rolling a pen in and out of my shirt as an example of a hyperactive trait, which confused me about my identity. I mentioned how even now I pace back and forth all the time and Lee-Anne thinks I do it when I feel anxious, but that I also do it when I feel every other emotion. I told her about how I use a pocket calendar as an impromptu fidget toy during Zoom meetings, alternately fitting the keychain over my fingers and twisting the dial back and forth to help me concentrate.

Mom was really happy to hear this result. She said that she always knew I was hyperactive, and the reason I didn't get the diagnosis was because I was assessed based on my classroom behaviour. She said that if people saw me running back and forth to help me think like I did at home, I would have been labeled a hyperactive long ago.

It's not often talked about, but the world of ADHD is not kind to Inattentives. One thing that people love to say about ADHD is that it's the ideal way of thinking in hunter gatherer societies. So even if we're outdated and inconvenient in modern society, at least there was a time and place where we were valued. However, there are people that argue that this does not extend to Inattentives, and say that they have no present or historical value. I heard an initiative being made to redefine Inattentives with a new label, called "Sluggish Brain Disorder". Considering that many of the phrases used colloquially to mean unintelligent, such as idiot, moron, dumb, and even the R-word were all once clinical terms, you'd think they'd be more careful to choose a dignified phrase when coming up with new diagnoses. It doesn't take much imagination to find a way to make fun of someone for having "Sluggish Brain Disorder".

Inattentive types are more often female, and oftentimes girls and women struggle to be recognized for their symptoms. This could be indicative of sexism in the education system, and this reluctance to acknowledge the struggles of females could explain the distaste formal systems have for the Inattentive subtype.

They even rebranded the disorder from ADD to ADHD, so even people without hyperactivity have to include it in their label. Completely needless redefinition, which is more inaccurate and just serves to highlight Hyperactives more.

I still think I'm primarily Inattentive, and I think that this type benefits from a heightened level of imagination and an ability to hyperfocus on creative works. I don't think Inattentives are less valuable than Hyperactives.

I've received a prescription for medication. When I was a child, I was offered the option of meds but adamantly refused them. I thought it was unfair that everyone else could just be themselves, but I had to be chemically edited to be a decent human being. I felt that I would rather risk failure as myself, than be guaranteed success as whoever they wanted to change me into.

As I've grown, I've found myself knowing and working with people that I greatly respect who use meds, and I'm even in a romantic relationship with someone who uses them, so I've begun to reassess my feelings about them. I haven't tried them yet, I just received them yesterday.

Mesh Peer Review 2021

I did a post last December on a MESH assessment, comparing how I'd rated myself between 2019 and 2021. At that time, I only had my own data, so I could only compare how my own self-perception had evolved over the past two years. Now I have the data from my peers, so I am able to compare how I perceived myself in 2021 vs how others perceived me.

When I was scored in 2019 I had four people assess me and their results were combined. This time around I also had four people, but two of them are different.

If you don't know, MESH is a system to determine your emotional intelligence, which is judged based on how congruent your self-perception is to how others perceive you.  This is determined by filling out a questionnaire where you are asked to imagine yourself in a number of different scenarios and you rank examples of how you might react to them. Then you have three or more people answer the same questionnaire from the perspective of how they think you might act. The questions are stated in a way that makes it seem like there isn't a straightforward right and wrong, but there definitely is because in the end you are graded from 1-10 over 36 categories. They don't let you score lower than 5, though.

This time the total average I gave myself was 4% higher than what I gave myself in 2019, meaning that my self-esteem improved by that much in two years. My peer assessment this time around matched what I gave myself in 2019, which means that in 2021 I scored myself a bit better than other people did, but I think that's natural. I don't have my 2019 peer assessment, but I remember that I scored myself higher than what other people gave me that time as well. If my 2021 peer assessment matches my 2019 self assessment, and my 2019 peer assessment was lower than that year's self-assessment, then that means my peer assessment scores must also have increased over the past two years. So overall improvement in both metrics.

I won't state my numerical scores for each one, but I'll go over the categories where the results were of note, such as if there was a disparity between how I view myself and how others see me, or if I was especially strong or weak in an area.

The places where I scored myself weakest were Growth Focus and Empathic Accuracy. For the latter, my reviewers generally agreed that it was an area for improvement, but gave me a slightly better score than I gave myself. Empathic Accuracy is the ability to accurately assess other peoples emotions through verbal and non-verbal cues. If I recall, this is an area that I've grown weaker at since my last assessment. Maybe it's due to the lack of in-person interaction over the course of the pandemic.

For Growth Focus there was a huge discrepancy. I saw it as an area of weakness while others saw it as an area of strength. Growth Focus is the ability to improve oneself through seeking support, which means that I think I behave as a lone wolf type, but other people don't see me that way. Maybe this means that I ask for support regularly, but secretly need more than I let on.

The places where I scored myself highest were Motivation Style, Curiosity, Collaboration, Openness, and Influence. Gave myself perfect 10s for all of these. My reviewers agreed that these were areas of strength for everything except for Motivation Style.

Motivation Style is the ability to work hard toward achieving a goal without the need for external encouragement. Apparently I find myself very self-motivated whereas other people think I'm only okay.

The areas that my peers scored me weakest were Ambition and Intuition. Huge disparity for both of these, as I viewed them both as areas of strength.

Ambition is the drive to set and achieve challenging goals. I believe that I have drive, whereas other people see me as more relaxed. Makes sense, I think I project an image of being "chill" and don't like to let people know when I'm under strain.

Intuition is the ability to come to conclusions with little information. The description says it has to do with integrated thought and emotional processing. It says that while I view this as a strength of mine, other people don't see me as the type to "follow my gut". I probably don't act on or express the conclusions that I develop.

My peers thought that my greatest strength was Civility, which they gave me a perfect 10 for, and which I agreed was an area of strength. Civility is the ability to "disagree without being disagreeable", to speak in a way that invites dialogue despite the presence of heightened emotions.

Here's a rundown of how I scored in all 36 categories:

Self-perceived strength, viewed by peers as area for improvement: Motivation Style, Ambition, Intuition, Enthusiasm, Agency, Versatility, Metaperception, Clarity, Follow Through, Principle, Consideration (11)

Self-perceived weakness, viewed as strength by others: Growth Focus, Introspection, Receptivity, Appreciation (4)

Mutually agreed areas to improve: Boundary Setting, Empathic Accuracy (2)

Mutually agreed as average: Composure, Optimism, Compassion, Attentiveness (4)

Mutually agreed as strengths: Curiosity, Collaboration, Openness, Influence, Civility, Emotional Awareness, Mindfulness, Self Assurance, Confidence, Objectivity, Divergent Thinking, Determination, Validation, Candor, Approachability (15)

These categories can be divided into four quadrants: Personal Baseline, Performance Keys, Communication Baseline, and Leadership Keys. Back in 2019, I was strongest in Leadership Keys. In 2021, it's a tie between Leadership Keys and Personal Baseline.

Overall, I feel positive about my results. I'm in the green (over 80%) for both my self and peer reviews, and both perceptions have increased by about 4% over the past two years.

Holdovers From Winter Continued

 In my last post I mentioned how a local sub shop was changing locations and that it had an unrelated fried chicken business' name attached to it. Well they finally put up a sign at their new locations. Check it out:

To be clear, that "Crown Cleaners" sign was not up before they installed the new Big John's sign. What's the deal? Why do they always attach an unrelated business' sign next to theirs?

Crown Cleaners is a business in Belmont Village. I checked it out recently and they don't appear to be preparing to move, but maybe they've formed some kind of agreement with Big John's.

I also mentioned that we'd had a pretty harsh cold snap and it snowed for two days last week. I was worried about the emerging flowers in our front lawn that we'd planted last year, but check it out

We got blossoms!

Last week, we finally got the process started to get Finn neutered. He needed to get some vaccinations first though, so he had his first session last week. We took him in a carrier over the lightrail, and he was pretty chill both on the train and at the vet. The medication made him feel groggy for about an evening and a day. Since he's usually so hyper it was a little weird to watch him low energy.

I'd forgotten how whiny Kieran is when he doesn't have a playmate. He was following me around with his cat wand in his mouth trying to get me to play with him, begging me to pick him up and carry him around, and meowing incessantly in a high pitch tone. This is all extremely cute, but it gets old eventually. I do play with my cat, but he simply can't get enough attention. It's one reason why we got Finn. I was actually a little jealous of how much attention Kieran gave Finn, but I've grown accustomed to it now, and it was a relief to have Finn back in condition to chase and be chased. Balance has been restored.

Neither of the cats have a negative association with the carrier. They will sit in it voluntarily.

We got a new microwave recently. We went to a Canadian Tire and they had some display microwaves but none for sale. We went to Wal Mart and there were almost no options there either. Lots of InstantPots and air fryers though. Is this a new generation thing? Is the golden age of microwaves over? We went to another Wal Mart and found a variety, but they weren't even in the kitchen appliance section, they were next to the vacuums.

I barely understand what an air fryer is. They're usually sold in the same aisle as the toaster ovens. You start with classical toaster ovens, and then you get to ones that say they have "convection technology" or "air fryer technology". At this stage they sometimes have the inner grill replaced with buckets. Then they change to this taller, thinner shape and they're called "air fryers". The prices they go for fluctuate wildly too. If I wanted an air fryer I would have no idea what to get.

Because they're all in the same aisle and because of the variety of styles and prices, I'd thought that the toaster oven manufacturers just started started branding them as air fryers pretending to be a new technology. I looked it up though, and a "convection oven" is basically a toaster oven with a fan, and an "air fryer" is a convection oven shaped in a way that it has a more concentrated heat source. So there are differences between these three similar things.

I should probably get an InstantPot. I've been stubborn about it because for the longest time, I would hear that having a slow cooker was a real life hack. In the morning, throw some meat and root vegetables into one and forget about it. Then at dinner you have something much better than you could have prepared an hour in advance. I finally got around to getting a slow cooker, and almost immediately afterward that sentiment was redirected to the InstantPot. Apparently the InstantPot gets the same results, but instantly. So I was slow to get a slow cooker, and was resistant to get the InstantPot instantly.

But it's been years since I got my slow cooker, so perhaps it's time to swallow my pride and admit to InstantPot supremacy.

I've heard critics of the Mandela Effect (which I've covered on this blog: http://lairofthegryphon.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-mandela-effect.html) say that in the future, believers will say that at one point the InstantPot was known as the Instapot, and that they're from the Instapot dimension. The real answer would be that InstantPot made a marketing error, and that Instapot just felt more natural in customers' mouths. Let this blog post be evidence that the InstantPot dimension did exist.

Since we got the new microwave, we had to go to Food Basics to get some frozen Jamaican patties. These were a staple back when I really had to watch my money, because they were in a box of 20 and cost $10. That's 50 cents a patty! It was disappointing when, not long ago, they had reduced the number of patties to 18. This last time, it had gone all the way down to 14!

This is how I keep track of inflation. By how many frozen Jamaican patties I can get for $10. Using this system, it would appear that groceries have increased in price by 30% in the last year.

Another staple of my poverty diet was pierogis. I remember in college I would boast that I could get a kilogram of them for $2. Well, how much do you think that's changed? I picked up a kilogram for them during my trip... for $2! Somehow, someway the frozen pierogi people have kept the price and quantity completely stable since I graduated college in 2015!

Holdovers From Winter

Our housemates are gone on vacation for a month and a half. They said that we could use their backyard and grill. So far it's been kind of on the chilly side, but last Saturday we bundled up and managed the first barbeque of the year. Just grilled some burger patties. It's a good thing we did it when we did though, because yesterday and today it's been snowing! Enough that the ground has been carpeted.  

Last year we planted some flower bulbs in the front yard and earlier this month they started to emerge. Hopefully this doesn't kill them. Oh well, in our region we're advised to expect possible cold snaps until the May 24 weekend.

Speaking of holdovers from winter, you might remember how I've been keeping track of annual eggnog patterns. In recent years they've pushed it from being a Christmas-exclusive beverage into the Halloween season, justifying it by making the first batch "pumpkin spice". However, this past year for the first time they released it at Halloween in its traditional format, meaning that you can buy classic eggnog for about a quarter of the year!

It has been a slow process to normalize eggnog this far out of the Christmas season, but the other day I was in the grocery and something unprecedented occurred

Easter Eggnog!!

Completely detached from Christmas, celebrating a holiday in the spring!! To be fair, this was produced by Sheldon Creek Dairy, which I don't think is a major company, so I don't think this will popularize the phenomenon. Nevertheless, the fact that this is the first I've seen it sold at this time of year makes it feel like Sheldon Creek is committing a crime.

On the side of the bottle it says following:

"Most people think of Eggnog around the winter holidays. Here at Sheldon Creek Dairy, we wondered why Santa should have all the fun! This Eggnog is rich, velvety and smooth and is here just for a limited time. Easter, Eggs, Eggnog. Makes sense to us! Happy Easter from our Family and Bovine Beauties to you! From the den Haan Family"

It tasted okay.

Earlier this year my favourite lunch spot, Big John's Subs closed. That was annoying because even though we live near a number of restaurants, there was only one real option for take out lunch. Weird thing is, even though they took down the sign that says Big John's Subs, they left up the big sign saying "Fritou's Fried Chicken" which I've always known to be attached to their store. There's a Fritou's sign on the inside as well.

I've never known them to sell fried chicken. If you Google "Fritou's Fried Chicken" you'll see that the nearest location is in Toronto, and I looked this up before Big John's closed. This sub shop was over 70 years old, so did Big John's partner with Fritou at some point, or does the fried chicken sign predate the sub shop? Why is Big John powerless to take down the Fritou's sign, even after they took down everything else?

Good news is that just a short walk down the road we spotted a new sign, saying that Big John's is reopening! They never updated their website or Facebook page saying that they were changing location. Weak Internet presence.

Also, in the location they left, something else is opening. Lee-Anne saw some people working on it and asked what was being put in, and they said shawarma! This is good news for me, because shawarma is my favourite street food, and while you can find it in many locations across Kitchener, it just so happens that we live in a bit of a shawarma dry spot. If this new place is any good, once both locations open I probably won't bother with the slightly longer walk to pick up a sub.

I wonder if the new shawarma spot will keep the Fritou's Fried Chicken sign? I wonder if Big John's will put one up at their new location.

Safe Management in Burlington

Yesterday I was in Burlington recertifying as a Safe Management Trainer. If you don't know, I have a side gig where I teach a crisis prevention and intervention course for frontline workers at my agency. The pandemic shut down most of the demand for it, although I did teach a few awkward remote sessions. Because a significant portion of it is physical, it's very difficult to adequately teach that remotely.

In fact I as a trainer am supposed to recertify annually, but because of lockdowns the main office had to develop an online option, which is what I used last year. With only online training and a few awkward remote sessions since the onset of the pandemic, I felt like I was two years out of practice for this recertification.

There were no real public transit options to get from Kitchener to Burlington by 9:00 AM. Normally I would carpool in with one of my coworkers, but it turns out that both of the other instructors from my agency moved away from the position over the pandemic.

I wound up traveling after work on Monday and staying over in a hotel. Most of my reasons for staying in hotels over the years have been for trainings. Usually it's for longer though, so I didn't really have an opportunity to explore the area. Felt like there wasn't much in the around, though. At the training somebody asked our instructor if there was anywhere in walking distance to get food, and she said no, so I'm glad I packed dinner and lunch.

We were all required to wear masks, but it was still interesting to practice the escorts and restraints. Spent a lot of time in each others' breathing space. Even if it felt irresponsible in some ways, it was still good to do things the way that we used to. There were a few edits to the material and three new techniques. I learned about them last year from the online training but I only feel like I know them after practicing yesterday.

We have an online portal now, which gives us up-to-date information on new material. This is really nice since we've been keeping up through paper workbooks and a slideshow on a USB, both of which can get outdated between trainer recert sessions. I can also print out certificates for people now.

Because restrictions have been lifted, I'll be returning to traditional teaching sessions. Pretty well all Direct Support Workers are going to need to be certified again, so it's going to be busy. We'll require people to wear masks and we'll try to keep course sizes under ten, but otherwise things are back to normal.

First COVID Test

Well, I recently got to check off a box in my pandemic bingo book. Until yesterday I'd managed to go this long without having to take a COVID test. I'd been sick once before but since Lee-Anne had been my only exposure and she got sick first, she went in to get tested and after her results came back negative we opted to just continue quarantining.

About a week ago, Lee-Anne developed a bad head cold. I felt fine all through the week and was feeling pretty confident, but right when she started to feel better, I got a tickle in the back of my throat. I told myself I was psyching myself out, but as I got up the next day I found that it was definitely not all in my mind. I've had about the same symptoms she had for about three days now.

We've got these at-home rapid tests, convenient enough that there was really no reason not to use one, even though I'd caught it from Lee-Anne again. In my last post, I've already said that these rapid tests have their limits. The assessment you get if you go into a clinic tells you whether or not there's any COVID in your system, whereas these home ones don't tell you if you're infected, they just tell you if you're infectious.

I'd heard varying reports about how bad the tests are. My mother said that it was no big deal, whereas my aunt said that it was a misery that she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy. After going through it, I'd have to say I'm definitely on the side of not liking them.

I have to be one of the last people I know to never have had one done. So you probably know this already, but you take a cotton swab, stick it up your nose until you "feel resistance", twist it around for five seconds, do the other nostril with the same swab, then you stick it in a little beaker with solution. Let the solution stand, then drop some of the liquid into this device. Let it sit for 15 minutes. If two bars show up on the device, you're contagious. If only the top one does, you're not. If only the bottom one does, you didn't collect enough for it to determine a result.

I was happy that it would tell you if you screwed up, and I was relieved that both me and Lee-Anne got a clear single bar at the top, clearly negative.

Sticking the swab up my nose tickled and burned a lot and made me sneeze like crazy. It goes against every human instinct to put something that far up your nose.

I was told today by a coworker though, that apparently doing just the nasal swab isn't good enough for the Omicron variant, and that you need to swab your cheeks and the back of your throat as well. Well, we have three more tests so I'll probably do it.

While we're talking about my lack of wellness, about a month ago I was making potato pancakes. We had a new grater, which attached to a bason that sets on the counter. I was holding the bason between the thumb and index finger of my left hand, and alternating between grating and squeezing water out of the grated potatoes. I managed to finish all the potatoes, but then suddenly started to feel a sharp stinging sensation in my left thumb.

My thumb swelled up and was in a lot of pain for a while. Eventually, the pain went away and I regained some mobility, enough to button a shirt, fasten a seatbelt, and shuffle a deck of cards. But my thumb is still swollen, over a month later, and this could just be it's new natural state.