All-Nighter

I pulled an all-nighter last night, finishing an assignment. Glad to know that I'm still young and vital enough to pull something like that off. I drank so much caffeine, though, that I got heart palpitations. I think I must be more sensitive to caffeine than most people. That's, like, the third time I've OD'd on caffeine. I see peers plugging back way huger amounts than I take in. I'm not used to being a lightweight. When I asked them if they new you could OD on caffeine, they all knew from personal experience that you could.

Shit. The caffeine conversation was exactly like a drug conversation. I wondered at the time how they even sell that stuff legally and publicly in the school. I'm the only one who hates the palpitations this much though, it seems.

In class, my heart was in pain and I was lightheaded, falling in and out of consciousness, not knowing whether I was high-strung or tired, thinking that if I let my concentration go, my heart would stop.

I started writing stuff down to help me focus on a task and thereby regulate my thoughts and stop me from succumbing to panic. Reading them later in the day, when I'd gotten past the palpitations and, for some reason, I'd stopped being tired, the notes sounded so desperate, it was hilarious. Stuff like "Heart palpitations" "Light-headed" "Halfway there" "Less than 30 minutes" "She said it would end soon" "Not aware of heart rate".

I think I hate the palpitations more than other people. Other people just get uncomfortable, whereas I convince myself tht I'm gonna die.

At Tim Hortons, they sell something that they call a BELT (Bacon, Egg, Lettuce Tomato). I bought one today, and they were like "Bacon, ham or sausage?" WTF. "I'll have a bacon sandwich, hold the bacon" Makes no sense. I still got sausage, but really, that's a SELT,  not a BELT.

When I was home a couple weeks back, I described to my mom what groceries I was buying, and she gave me a recipe to make a quick and easy dish with the resources and food items that I had. Since then, I've been feeling pretty slick, cooking meals and all that, instead of just eating a bunch of separate stuff.