Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Granddad Wellness Update

In 2020 my granddad suffered an episode that put him into a delirium that caused him to be hospitalized. I made a post about it last year. It was particularly distressing because it happened during a hospital lockdown because of COVID, so we weren't able to support him in the ways that we would have liked, although we were able to talk to him over the hospital phone. When I spoke to him, he preferred not to speak on his health or current circumstances, and asked me to speak about my own life.

Despite the episode having the characteristics of a stroke, tests showed no indication that this was what it was, and physically he was considered to be in immaculate health. There were some signs of dementia in its early stages but not enough to explain his state at that time.

He was eventually able to leave the hospital and continue living with my Oma. His mental health improved considerably for a time, but his condition would continue to worsen.

Me and Lee-Anne were able to visit them once the lockdown lifted. We went to a club that him and my Oma frequent and had lunch. I asked him about his and my great uncles' move to Canada and the story behind his name, and he was able to tell me.

One time when I was in Guelph, my mom was talking to them on a video chat and when she mentioned that I was there, he was excited and shouted for me to join the call.

Yesterday me and Lee-Anne visited, again for lunch, and things were a little different.

My mother had visited them for a few days a few weeks prior and had told me that he hadn't recognized her at first, although he did after a couple of days. Oma warned me that he wouldn't recognize me, and I responded that I understood he "might" not recognize me. Trying to portray myself as realistic while leaving a lot of room for optimism.

When we arrived, the first thing he said to me was, "You look familiar". He didn't object or seem surprised when I told him I was his grandson though. My aunt, his other daughter, who lives in Toronto and who has been seeing him weekly, had made a family tree with pictures for him. I was able to take that and show what relation I was to him. For the rest of the visit, when I'd be referred to as Gryphon or his grandson, he seemed to know who was being referred to, although I don't know if he would have been able to offer the information unprompted. I tried not to challenge or test his memory too much, it didn't seem like my place to do that.

Despite my mother saying he hadn't recognized her, there were several times when me and Oma were speaking about her, and Granddad interjected with "You mean my daughter Tammy?" and "Tammy Landstreet?"

He asked me what I did for a living, but later on when the name of my agency was brought up, he mentioned that he knew about it.

We went to the same place we did last time. Before we left their apartment, he didn't remember the name of the club, but when we got there, he welcomed us to it, told us where the bathrooms were, and said that he comes often.

He looked at me a lot and was smiling. We went for a walk together and I was worried that he would forget who I was and become anxious. But we chatted and had a good conversation. He said the walk was pleasant and special and he regretted that we'd eventually have to leave.

It seemed like he knew various things about me, but the facts weren't syncing up. He knew I looked familiar, and that he had grandsons, and that he knew someone named "Gryphon" but these facts didn't weave together to make the full person in front of him. But he seemed familiar and comfortable with me. I think he kind of knew me.

I was given his watch and the military dogtags of my great grandfather, who shares a name that's somewhere in both Granddad and my name (it's not Gryphon). 

This whole thing is tough to watch, not going to lie. He's been a consistent influence on my life for as long as I can remember. The amicability of our relationship has fluctuated over the years, but he's always been there. It gives an existential feeling, and it's hard knowing that his condition will only get worse.

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