Surpising Credentials

Warning: I'm drinking right now. Please take all content in this entry with this knowledge in mind.

Well, I finished my first day of work two hours ago. You know what I did for eight hours? Watch someone. You know what I'll do tomorrow? Watch the same guy again. The next day? Same thing.

I used to criticize employers for using the excuse that they'd need to train someone if they didn't have experience. Until now, the only "training" I've ever experienced was a 5-minute explanation of what needed to be done, told en mass. If someone with experience showed up, they'd get the same "training", so I couldn't see what the advantage of hiring someone with experience was.

Actually, I could. Just not in the terms employers would use. You have so many applicants, and you can only pick so many. You need a differentiating feature. So you give it to the person with better credentials. It's not like things would have been different if they'd given it so someone with lesser credentials, but in the end, no matter how small the difference, the employer has to make a decision, and if the numbers wind up against you, you're sunk, and vice versa.

I thought "training" was a blanket term. An excuse so people wouldn't have to have hard feelings when they didn't get hired. An excuse that was, of course, legitimate, but lacked the implied importance.

But all that changed after today! I'm going to have to use five gauges to determine every part, I'll be in charge of determining height and width, I'll be in charge of operating a mechanical arm, or maintaining the mechanical arm, of operating a computer, reporting difficulties, and of filling out paper documents.

Yikes! Today, the guy only taught me how to use the gauges. My supervisor even told him that I'm not to operate any of the machines or be responsible for loading. I'm just supposed to watch and maybe do a little gauging.

I expressed concern in my previous post that, since my contract was for one day, I'd get laid off after one day. But now, I really don't think that's the case. Why train someone all day, if they'll never utilize their acquired abilities for the company? They've guaranteed me at least three days, and they haven't even referred to me as a "temp" or even a "Worker". They've referred to me as an "employee".

That actually has me a little nervous. I was told to report to someone, written in ink on my orientation papers. Printed on it was the name of someone different. I figured the "Written in ink" name was probably more recent, and therefor more relevant. When I got to the company, it took me 45 minutes before I reached the ink-written person personally. When he arrived, he asked me if I'd really been asked to report to him. I showed him my paper and told him my line of logic. He told me I was absolutely correct and gave me the tour.

Afterwards, he presented me to my supervisor. They had a bit of a heated discussion about my appearance. Apparently, I was unexpected. But they found me a place to train.

Now, at this point, I was skeptical. I was asked to watch someone, and not to perform any important tasks. I thought it was busy work for a mistake. Later on, I learned that this task was what was being performed by almost everyone in the plant, and that I was receiving the standard training.

There was also a meeting, where I was spotlighted. Apparently, they have more machines than humans right now, and I'm going to be a part of this new wave. The supervisor even brought me to attention amongst my coworkers.

So, when push comes to shove, I think I'll be here awhile. My mom thinks this is excellent. She thinks these are advanced credentials people who take courses strive to get. She also thinks that my performance at my last workplace, and the reference my supervisor may have given me, would have contributed to this job which requires higher credentials.

My last supervisor loved me, so even though it's kind of wussy-ish to listen to your mother on something like this, I'm inclined to agree.

Okay, I think I'm done. I just had a lot of emotions and inhibitions collide with me, and I think this is my last chance before I lose reason. Goodnight to you all and I'll let you know how my second night of training goes.

Job Orientation

I went in for my job orientation at the agency today. It was really standard. I'm going to be doing "machine operating". It's eight hour days, paid lunch, $12.00 an hour, they want you to provide your own safety shoes, but they'll provide eye and ear protection. It's a branch of Linamar. All of this is exactly the same as my last job.

It's a little further away, but I'll be catching the bus an hour to, just like at my last job, so it doesn't really make a difference. My position is "Machine Operator" which I think is an upgrade on "General Labourer". They have to ask you, "Do you have experience machine operating?". They don't have to ask you anything for General Labourer.

I thought I'd screwed myself when they first asked me:
Person: Do you have experience machine operating?
Me: No.
Person: Oh...
Me: Wait. By machine operating, do you mean just operating machines?
Person: Yeah.
Me: Oh. Well, then, yes. All the time, back at my old job.

The contract has the start and end date as the same day, and that was two days ago. I'm not too concerned, though. I've seen that happen before. You just keep showing up until the agency tells you you're no longer needed. I had a one day assignment the year I graduated high school. I did the one day and didn't return. The agency never found me another assignment (well, actually, it's the same agency. They gave me another shot a couple years later) I'm wondering if they had expected me to keep showing up...

I felt pretty boss, updating my file. I gave her my updated resume, photocopies of my four certificates, and a reference sheet. Six pages.

At Tim Hortons, I ordered a chicken salad sandwich. The guy asked me "Medium or large"? I had no idea there was a large variant! Nobody else has ever asked me that, and it's not on the menu! It's literally twice as large, and the girl stuffed it so full... Never got a better deal. My mind was blown.

He asked me if whole wheat was fine. They must've been out of white. I was going to ask for that, anyway, since their whole wheat tastes like white anyway, so you might as well sound healthy. But I bet there are people who try to barter down the price when they can't have their bread preference. I bet they're like, "Why should I pay the same amount for something I'm going to enjoy less?! I come in here expecting a certain quality, and it's your duty to provide me with quality service!"

I don't know why people gotta be like that. In PEI, I saw a guy throw a packet of sweetener at a server because he didn't give him real sugar. He said "That sugar?!" and when he got his sugar, he said "There now. That wasn't so hard, was it?!"

(That's not an accurate depiction of the PEI people at large. This man was an anomaly.)

Anyway, when people can't or don't give you exactly what you want, I don't see the point in busting a fuse. You're probably in a worse mood from getting worked up about it than a packet of sugar can cure.

When somebody asks me if I'm alright with whole wheat, I'm just like, "Bro, for you I'd eat rye". Gotta spread the positivity.

Twitter, New Job

I got a Twitter account recently. A job counsellor offered that we could do each other a favour, her giving me job leads through Twitter, and me making sure she presented herself properly. I think she might have just wanted a follower, though. It's all good. Right now, I have all my Internet methods of communication open: Twitter, Facebook, this blog, my email, and my brother's forum.

I never really took Twitter too seriously before. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but when it comes to networking sites, it seems like the newer, more "cutting edge" ones apply a logic that "less is more".

The first really mainstream networking site, MySpace, is now dying because people are moving to Facebook. The reason most people give is that Facbook is less tacky, and has a better community.

Well, if everyone's migrating, why would the community be different? They're the same people!

And as far as tackiness goes, people refer to the gaudy backgrounds and music many people put on their profiles.

So why is it that Facebook turned out so class?

Because it offered LESS! You can't put music, and you can't put backgrounds. MySpace is only dying because it failed to protect people from themselves.

And as for Twitter? It's the Facebook status function, if it had a far more extreme restriction. That's all it is. It has one function, and that function is inferior to Facebook's take on it. But Twitter is newer, and it's flourishing.

Oh well, it's still pretty fun. I have two followers, I'm following five people, and I have seven tweets.

My Facebook and Twitter I seem to be comfortable spamming, but I'm pretty selective with this blog, for some reason. I mean, if someone finds it, I'm okay with that, but I gave up the opportunity to spam it on the 2ndchance newsletter, and I've never plugged it on FB. Wonder why.

I got a job today. I'm going in for orientation tomorrow. This one's Afternoon shift. I said any shift was fine, but I was really hoping it wouldn't be Afternoons. It's gonna kill Karate! I was gonna change belt ranks this month!!! I'm working in part to pay for those classes, and since it pays by the month, I'll just be wasting money!

Somebody told me they can accommodate that, though. When I'd just gotten my job and was telling one of my Karate friends about it, I spoke on my relief that I wasn't doing Afternoons, since that would kill Karate. He said that the sensei can accommodate people working that shift, and give lessons during the day, and that some people do that. That sounds... weird to me, but I'll talk it over.

I've regressed physically. When I first started Karate, it was slow but consistent improvement. When I did Katimavik, I made significant improvement. I've recently regressed, and it's the first time that's happened, so I'm a little disappointed.

Canada World Youth has approved my medical file. I guess I just need to get placed.

Reacquaintence With Acquaintences

I was walking along the street and saw this guy that I'd known throughout highscool. I hadn't known him well, but we'd exchanged words and spent a number of classes together. He wasn't the first person I'd seen recently whom I'd had a relationship with like this. A guy I used to speak to every day back in Media Arts class, whom I'd remembered recently, just because I was becoming stressed out about my constantly expanding memory-load throughout life, and I'd picked him out through coincidence by choosing random and inconsequential snippets throughout life. I saw him on the bus, and he didn't recognize me. Same as a girl I'd spent middle and elementary school with. Someone I'd done project with, and who's email address I actually have. And to take it further, someone I knew from elementary, middle school, and high school, who was even in my "clique" for awhile, and who I'd made semi-consistent contact with.,

Yeah, so everyone except the first guy I spoke on didn't give me a second glance. This guy, we passed glances, smiled, laughed, waved, and rejoiced. That's where it's at. Just because we didn't know each other well, doesn't mean we didn't experience a lot together, and it doesn't mean we can't be happy to see each other.

Yesterday, I mentioned something that didn't get properly emphasized. My grandma was the one who noticed it. I guess I don't speak on it a lot, just because I don't generally feel like it's a good idea to focus on other's in a personal blog, not knowing when you might step on someone's toes, but it's true that the fact I referenced going out for a walk with my mother has some significance. I know I've mentioned she recently got through treatment for Hep C, but wasn't clear on how debilitating the side-effects were. Until a little while ago, going on such recreational physical activities were out of the question. She's continued to improve since her treatment, and every couple of days or so, her ambition and capabilities seems to improve.

Local Ducks & Geese

Me and Mom went to feed some ducks and geese recently. That was a huge blast from the past. I don't know if I've mentioned it on this blog, but I used to be a member of a flock of geese. Learned their sign language, earned their trust, and eventually they'd come and hang out with me even if I didn't have anything for them, and they let me play with their goslings, while they were really aggressive to everyone else. That's a really lengthy story, though. A major fan-favourite. But I'll get side-tracked.

Anyway, we fed them frozen vegetables (that were thawed) and some whole-grain bread with lots of seeds. Now, I'm normally against feeding bread to waterfowl... It's not good for them, but these guys have already stayed almost the duration of the winter. Somebody's graffitiing "feed the ducks" all over the neighborhood... And, the ducks at least, were obviously accustomed to being fed. These guys are completely human-dependant... Our feeding them won't make or break them, and if they were going to be retaught to be independent, this would be the very worst time of year to do that.

Anyway, as I said, the ducks were eager to get at the food. Where we fed them was a platform that hangs above the river, quite a distance up, so we were throwing down. The bread floated. The vegetable sunk. We threw the vegetables onto an ice platform, but it took them quite a while to find it.

After a while, three geese decided to join in. They flew in, in formation, like fighter jets. After they'd got some, they called out to the other geese that it was good stuff, but the other's remained too flighty to come into the fray.

But what was a real find was, there was a really strange bird. It had the colouration of a loon, but the body of a duck. It was smaller than a duck, though, and it's head was different. It had a crest, and it's beak was long and thin. It could swim underwater, too.

I've seen this bird, before. I'm glad to know it wasn't just passing through. Strange that it's on it's own.

After some research, it looks like it was a "hooded merganser". I saw a red-breasted merganser by chance in Katimavik, and that was a similarly baffling experience.

Okay, I'm sorry, I have to go to bed. I know I haven't been blogging as much, but if I don't go to bed now, I'll wake up at 12:00 again, tomorrow. I'll try and be more assertive with my Internet demand.

Plants Vs. Zombies

So, yesterday, I was going to give my second game recommendation, but I got caught up in my filler story about wearing a menstruation cup symbol on my head without knowing about it for a month. And then figured it would be wisest to conserve the next piece of information until the next post, since I've got plenty of rt\free time now, with no excuse not to post, and yet, not enough new news to make sure this blog is worth keeping running.

I'd better make sure I have enough new stuff to keep updating.

After Yume Niki, my next game suggestion was Plants Vs Zombies.

This one wasn't made by one person, or under mysterious intent. It even made Game of the Year, originating as a game costing $1, expanding slowly to a might $10!

In this game, our are facing a zombie apocalypse. Your only mode of defence? You grow a garden.

Grow Sunflowers to generate sun. With sun, you can grow other plants, such as Peashooters, which fire peas at zombies for a base offense, Wallnuts, which create a defense, and Spikeweeds, which cause damage as zombies step over them. If you make enough money, you can buy upgrades to existing plants such as Double Sunflowers, which you can plant on your Sunflowers to generate twice as much sun, Gattling Peas, which you can plant on your Repeaters (which are an upgrade on Peashooters), and Spikerocks, which are an upgrade on Spikeweeds.

You need to adapt to multiple environments such as night, where you'll need to grow mushroom equivalents to replace your daytime, sun-reliant plants; on water, where you'll need to plant atop Lilly Pads, or on the roof, where the incline will require you to use such catapult-style plants as Cabbage-pults, Kernel-pults, Melon-pults, and Winter-pults.

In the $10 Premium addition, they also have a meriad of different modes. You can play IZombie, where you play Zobies vs. Plants, and a mode called Zombotony, where you play Plants vs. Plants.

This only scrapes the surface of this incredible and addictive game. I've beaten it already, and am on my way to defeating it a second time, this time with a focus on gathering "achievements" and also, abiding the requirements they place on you on the second runthrough.

If I'm not updating enough, blame Plants Vs. Zombies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N1_0SUGlDQ

http://www.youtube.com/user/PlantsVsZombies#p/u/6/zqKf2oY6-bI

Diva Pin

When I was in Katimavik, I had a hat that I placed pins on, each representing a person, place, or event. Two girls in my group had one particular pin that they both wanted to give me. It said "Diva" on it and was centred in the middle of a flower. While both were quick to offer, for some reason, they were both reluctant to follow through, and I had to fight a little for it. When one of them finally gave it to me, she requested to "See my hat", and then proceeded to attach the pin without telling me this intention. She also fastened it on in such a way that removing it would be very difficult.

I should have found it suspicious that, after requesting to have it, she would feel it necessary to trick me into wearing it, and also, to make sure I couldn't go back on this decision, but at the time, I chalked it up to their disbelief that I would so regularly display a badge with the feminine connotations of the word "Diva" coupled with a flower.

I was okay with this, though, because, for one, my hat was supposed to represent diversity, each one symbolizing an individual story, each carrying it's own unique perspective. My hat wasn't a representation of myself, but of my experiences. Secondly, I thought they had failed to understand the "Real Men Wear Pink" philosophy, which dictates that, if a man can wear something traditionally feminine, and this does not detract from his masculinity, this becomes a feat of masculinity, and thus makes the man more masculine. On a similar note, to display a quality that would usually invoke aggression in other masculine people, but to have forced them to accept this about you, is a display of dominance over them. Very masculine.

There was a bit more to this particular pin, though. For my final presentation in my second rotation, at debriefing camp, in front of three groups and the project coordinator, I presented my hat, and told the story behind each pin I'd collected in Thunder Bay.

When I got to the Diva Pin, I expressed my confusion at the difficulty I'd had collecting it, and the way it had been locked on when I finally did get it. It was at this point that I was interrupted, and somebody asked me if I understood the concept behind the pin.

Well, turns out it's for a menstruation device.

While, at the time, I was overwhelmed by shock and horror, much to the amusement of my audience, realizing onstage that I had been proudly displaying this for over a month, I would later bounce back. I never attempted to remove the pin, and I put effort into learning about the product that I was supposed to be a spokesman for.

Turns out, it was for the Diva Cup, a reusable device which is environmentally friendly, cost effective, and supposedly pretty comfortable (three in the group testified it was the most comfortable). But you shouldn't listen to the instructions presented by the company when applying. Just keep pushing until you hear a "pop".

I got a free lesson on other devices, too. At final rotation, three males and our female project leader were tasked with shopping for the group. She joked that we should be the ones to get the "lady products" and was much surprised that we specifically requested to be given the privilege to do just that. She was more amazed when that was followed by a heated discussion about the qualities of each product. She said that she had "never seen this before".

That's right. I wasn't alone. I was initially fazed, but after I had collected myself, I took the offensive, and before I was through, men were competing to deal with menstruation products in an effort to seem more manly. I put the "men" back in "menstruate". If that's not "Real Men Wear Pink" I don't know what is.

EChat and Game Review

Well, I just finished my little chat session. It wasn't one-on-one. There was about 40 potential volunteers, and three organizers. There was voice, but only the organizers spoke with it. Applicants were restrained to text chat. I just listened. There was also a screen that displayed visuals. It was similar to a PowerPoint presentation. Amusingly, their example applicant was "Astro Boy".

Everything they said confirmed what I said yesterday. Living with one other applicant, working inside a group of 18, living with a billet family instead of a project leader... There will be two PLs to cover the group of 18, but their roles will be something more detached... Kind of like Katimavik's project coordinators, except a bit more accessible.

I listed 15 locations. There are 32 groups. Each group is almost double in size to a Katimavik group, so that's 64 groups vs Katimavik's 99. 10% are female-exclusive.

There's going to be an orientation camp. I hated Katimavik's orientation camp. It was pointless, and it hindered group development. CWY's sounds a bit more promising in that, at least they plan on doing something while we're their. They'll partner me and find me a placement based on my personality. That's a little intimidating.

Partway through, my desktop shut down and wouldn't restart. I switched to my laptop but it wouldn't connect to the Internet, and it wouldn't recharge. Nobody else was around, so my only option was to despair. Turns out, I accidentally hit some converter thing. Works fine, now.

But the only bit I missed was after the presentation was over and people were just asking questions, and a lot of people had already left. It wasn't too bad.

But enough of that... Let me recommend some videogames for you.

The first is called Yume Nikki. It was created and presented to the Internet by a guy known only by an alias, of which has no background. It was given no explanation. The game has no text, except for item descriptions. You play as a young woman. You start in her apartment. The only two rooms you can go to are her living room and balcony. If you try to leave she simply shakes her head. You can play a videogame where you catch eggplants that fall from the sky in a basket. The more eggplants you catch, the higher your score goes, but that's the only element. It never increases in difficulty and there's no reward for getting a high score.

She has no cable, and the only other form of entertainment is a book at a desk. The book is titled "Dream Diary" and it's where you save your game.

So, guess what you're going to do?

You go into your bed and you can fall asleep. You get out of bed, but now, you can leave your apartment. Outside is a black void with lots of doors. Go through the doors and discover worlds beyond. One is a monochrome desert, one is a dark room with lots of puddles, one has lots of people with shields for faces etc.

You'll soon start finding items called "effects" which will change your appearance and sometimes grant you powers. Some of them are as mundane and pointless as changing the style of your hair. Others will turn you into a decapitated head, or an icewoman with a blizzard following her wherever she goes, or a midget that can multiply, or give you a hand for a head with an eyeball for a palm which can clench it's fist and teleport you to the entranceway, etc. You can get a knife, in which you have the ability to alternate which hand you're holding it in, and can stab various creatures to death and take their money. You can then exchange the money for soft drinks which grant you health... which does nothing. You can get an effect that gives you the qualities of a cat, which draws people near you.

You can use and combine these effects and find more and more sequences, which leds to more effects.

When I first heard of this game, I thought it was kind of gimmicky. I mean, it's a big world,full of people who want to freak you out, and this game isn't exactly high-tech (it was built on RPG Maker and has technology of about the same capacity as the original Nintendo. It wouldn't put someone that far out to present the world with something like this and then just kick their feet back and see what paranoid people do with this.

And when I started playing, I wasn't impressed. There were a lot of hands and blood and eyeballs where their shouldn't be. Talk about uncreative. You want to give people a cheap scare, just stick hands, blood and eyeballs in a bunch of random places.

But after a while you begin to get the impression that something is... just wrong. Really, really wrong. And you can't put your finger on it. It won't be long before you're borderline panicking, and your heroine isn't even phased.

There was a lot of effort put into decoding the game and finding the creator. An interesting fact that I should point out is that a lot of little details, like the fact that her sprite is capable of changing which hand she's holding her knife in, is actually very difficult to create using that type of technology, and a lot of professional games don't bother. So what's the purpose of that action, which the creator put that much effort to include? Absolutely nothing. Or, your character's ability to wake up by pinching herself is moot when she's using the Severed Head or Invisible Woman effect... because she DOESN'T HAVE HANDS! That's a little detail that would've slipped by technologically unless someone had paid close attention.

So, if someone put this much effort into making sure everything fit, why is it that the character's waking world doesn't contain a bathroom or kitchen? And why does her building look like it's only wide enough to contain one apartment per level?

A lot of people have tried analyzing her dreams. Some people think she was raped, some that she witnessed someone dying in a car accident, that she's in a coma and dreaming even in her waking mode, that she's a latchkey child who's parents get home after she falls asleep and leaves before she wakes up... etc. Nobody can be entirely sure.

Most people in the dreams have no names, but if you break apart the coding, there are a few exceptions. There's a girl who lives in a house in an otherwise symmetrical world who's got a name. If you flick her lights on and off long enough, she'll turn into a giant,decapitated, smiling head, and everything in the room will have faces. If you touch her when she's like this, she'll teleport you to a dimension where you're knee deep in water and some image made entirely of hands scrolls by over and over. And the background music is a dull scream. There's also a girl with a name who you can find if you randomly walk far enough into a black abyss on this one level. If you talk to her, it shows a portrait of her face and she disappears. And another who becomes a deranged mutant with five arms, a dripping eye, and a puncture wound in her stomach, who's body, if you talk to her, will bounce around the screen to rave music if you use the effect which changes your head to a traffic light.

Now, the whole game is like this, so why is it that these people have names? More importantly, why do they have names if they were never revealed in the game itself?

Apart from decoding the game, people put effort into finding the person who made it.

No luck, except, they found an email address hidden on the website he presented the game on.

So they sent him an email. And guess what? HE RESPONDED!

He said that he has every intention of updating the game... It's only 10% complete... But it will take him a long time.

Even though it is only 10% complete, it has an ending. Want to know what it is? My other recommendation will wait for tomorrow, so this will be the last thing I post today.

If you collect all 24 effects, you can leave them in the "hub" of your character's mind, the place with all the doors. If you then proceed to go to your balcony in the waking world... You jump off. And they show a smear of blood on the ground below.

But even that's iffy, because some creatures from your dream world approach the blood smear, and the smear is the exact same shape as the one you found next to every hairstyle effect. Combine these surreal facts with the idea that there was so much effort to keep things exact in the game, yet the "Real world" contains some very surreal qualities, and you... are even more confused.

Invited to EChat

So here are the specific cities I might go to:

Mali
Mozambique
Nicaragua
Benin
Bolivia
Honduras
Ghana
Indonesia
Kenya
Nicaragua
Peru
South Africa
Tanzania
Ukraine
Vietnam

I'm still open to people giving me recommendations on how I should prioritize. I've got no clue, and they don't even look at my priorities until the end of the month. Until then, I can change freely. I only made a quick decision because

Yeah, Nicaragua was listed twice. That's because those leave on different departure dates. They say that there might be more than one team of 18 at any of these locations at one time.

There are 15 groups listed, but they're double in size, so that's the equivalent of 30 Katimavik teams. There might be more, too, but they've made it impossible to find out how many. Katimavik sends out 99 groups per year.

In Katimavik, I spoke to someone who'd done both programs, and she said that in CWY, she lived with only one other person, from the exchange country. It sounds like I'll be living with one other person, living in a billet house instead of a community of peers, but I'll be working with a larger group of CWY participants during the day. It also sounds like I'll be doing some kind of project at each locations, instead of a work placement.

Well... Sounds different.

I've been invited to an echat tomorrow, at 6:30 PM for the purpose of me understanding the program better, helping me prepare etc. I should have written about the basics of the program tomorrow, not today.

I have my vitamin information, so I actually completed everything on time.

Two days ago was Valentine's Day. Means nothing to me. I was gonna post that day, but it got kinda sketchy, so I didn't. I should have, though. It would have been good characterization, and a new dimension of my personality.

Job Opportunities

So, I spoke to someone from the agency yesterday. Turns out, they're open Saturdays. I thought I remembered hearing that somewhere, but I couldn't find their hours, so I tried calling, and I got someone. I asked about the work they'd told me they might have, and it sounds like it's the same place that guy I spoke to the other day got put.

Well, it sounds pretty bad. Rotating continental shift. That's three days of work per week, but each day is twelve hours. Apparently it feels like you do nothing but work, constantly, for three days. As for the work itself, she asked me if I had experience in machine operating, and she asked me if I could lift 30 pounds consistently. Sounds exactly like my least favourite job at the last place.

You don't ask people if they have a good job. Everyone says they don't. You ask them:
-Are you alone?
-Do you have to stand up?
-Do you have to lift heavy things?
-Is it dirty?
-Is it loud?
-Are you looking at a clock?

If the answer is no to all of those, then your job still sucks, but it's comparatively really awesome. My main assignment at the last place was no for all of those except the clock.

But this job....
-It's machine operating, so very likely will be alone
-It's machine operating, so most likely
-30 pounds consistently for 12 hours, 3 days straight will probably build up
-Can't tell you whether or not it'll be dirty
-Machines are usually loud
-No idea about the clock

So there you go, there are only two points that have a legitimate shot of being decent. And rotating shifts will screw with your internal clock.

And on top of working me too hard, it also manages to work me too easy at the exact same time. I'll be working four hours less than a standard five day week, and there probably won't be overtime.

Mom's on Disability, right? The deal was they'd subtract $500 from her paycheque because of me working. Without warning, last month, they upped it to $900. Obviously, I'm contributing whatever they retract. At the same time, I'm trying to save $3000 for CWY, and I'm paying for Karate. I... actually am beginning to care about what's in my bank, and am gaining a motivation to work for money. Even if I'm just working to gain money so I can pay to work more.

I'm not allowed to have over $5000, or they cut Mom from Disability. What I need is... $4000, almost exactly. I'm just shy of $2000 right now.

I can get a room for under $900. I should move out, but when I'm a temp, I don't have any financial stability!

There's a job fair next weekend. Working for some... solar energy company? It's better to get in through a job fair. The agency doesn't take a cut from your paycheque, you're less likely to have your shifts called off, and you seem less likely to be laid off.

I want to live with the wolfman for a month, but I want my CWY money and I want to be an orange belt, first.

Orange belt should happen either this month or the next, unless the stupid continental shift kills it! I have three stripes out of six right now, but that doesn't mean I'm only halfway. Half a belt is spent with no stripes, and the other half you're collecting, because it's done by categories, not degrees of general skill, and you're not only improving in one area at a time. So three stripes is more like three-quarters of the way. But it's even better than that, because one of the stripes I need is attendance, which I should automatically get after I get the other two, and one stripe is katas, and I've got those down. Just need to collect. The final one is simple in comparison with black, and they're not going to let me walk around with my black stripe, but without yellow, for very long. I've been told by several instructors that I'm "almost orange".

Here's what I put down as my preferences for CWY:
1 Latin America
2 Africa
3 Eastern Europe
4 Asia

1 Environmental
2 Agricultural
3 Health

Why? I dunno. A lot of people told me every combination. Everyone felt VERY STRONGLY about something. I'll be happy with whatever, but I wrote the options down on a piece of paper from memory, and that's how I laid it out. I think it's what my subconscious wants.

Right now I put the groups departing in June as highest priority, but there's groups leaving in the three months after that, and depending how I'm doing financially, I might delay my trip. The vast majority of groups leave in September.

Laid Off

I got laid off. It makes sense, though. I'll explain something here that I wouldn't have while I was still involved with the company. It has to do with the organization doing something a little amoral, and if it got too widespread, they might get in trouble. Not much I could do to sink them, though, even if I am famous enough to be a recommendation on Google, and it's not like they could ask us not to talk about it.

They had a contract with Ford that said they would have all the clutches and axles made by this machine they spent 7 million dollars on. But the machine didn't work from the moment it got in. So they had to hire temps to replace the machine. One day, someone from Ford showed up, and we all had to do different things sothe company wouldn't get caught.

Eventually, the machine got working, but, while it was faster than Afternoons and Days, it couldn't beat Nights, and Ford was asking for more parts than the machine could make. So they transferred the one guy they wanted to keep to Nights, and laid off everyone that wasn't Nights.

Well, yesterday, they got the machine running faster, somehow. This time, it was making 10 parts for every 8 that we could. They didn't waste time laying us off.

But, see, they used to have two teams of people making parts, which was what was considered the machine's competition. Six people vs. one machine. They never replaced the second woman, and they took a person off of assembly, meaning the machine's production was being compared to one team of four, instead of two teams of three.

I thought I might be okay, even if my ability as an assembler had become obsolete. It was nine days until my contract ran out, and on the fateful day, they pulled me and another guy with my seniority off to go about one of our other tasks. When my friends in assembly showed concern about getting laid off because of the machine's enhancement, I felt I had been put in another place because they thought I could still do something. Apparently not.

But... you know. This company was really running a risk having us around, and the fact that they never lay off regular employees means they're probably pretty picky, and they don't have openings very often.

They didn't even tell us to our face. They told the agency and the agency called us. I didn't get the call, because I was sleeping, but they left me a message saying that they had more work for me. I talked to another person who got laid off, and he said they'd already found him work.

Makes sense. I survived every layoff except the last one. Of the fifteen people who they originally sent, only four people made it that far. Nobody made it further, and it was one of those four's last day (he never told the agency or the company that, though. He must have been laughing when he got the call). There were also many replacements that got offed along the way. I've proven myself to them that I'm a profitable client.

On top of that, Guelph's reached pre-recession levels of employment. Remember the positive response to my applications when I came back? That had nothing to do with me!

The rest of Canada's still sunk, though. This success is Guelph-exclusive.

If I get another factory job, it'll probably be worse, though. I liked my coworkers, I got to sit down sometimes, got to talk. It was clean, quiet, didn't require much heavy lifting... It sucked, but for a factory job, it was the jackpot. Of the four factories I'd worked in, it was my favourite. It's all downhill from here.

CWY has given me the option of deciding my program focus and what continent I want to be placed. I didn't know they'd give me a choice! I wish they'd notify me, though, because they only slipped it into my file, and they put a time limit on it. It's got to be decided by the end of the month.

My focus options are:
-Environmental
-Agricultural
-Health

Agricultural focus takes place on a farm, where I'd participate in daily tasks.

Continent choices:
-Latin America
-Africa
-Eastern Europe
-Asia

Of the fifteen groups they showed, five were female exclusive. In Katimavik, even though gender was supposed to be balanced, every one had a majority females. I guess CWY is compensating for the female majority of applicants. I wonder why women are more interested in programs like these?

Authority Figure

You know what's the worst about hanging around people with intellectual disabilities and illnesses? Sometimes people assume you have one. In Summerside, working with people with developmental disabilities, sometimes I would take clients out for walks, or to go swimming or bowling. If I were the only staff, then it would be pretty obvious that I was leading, since my clients would be pretty well-known and by process of elimination, new guy must be the one in charge, and also because more responsibility would fall on me, which heightened the chances of me being seen in action as an authority figure. But if there were multiple staff, my age, gender, and the ratio between new staff and new clients all marked me as an unlikely staff. Right now, I'm involved with a community of people with mental illnesses, and my vague status among them has caused some people to assume I'm one. In either case, it was never a big deal, but it could get a little awkward.

It could also be a little awkward if I met one of my clients in Summerside at a bar. Not awkward when it happened... I was never ashamed to be associated with those guys. But if they brought it up while I was working, in front of my supervisors... I was always supposed to have a "professional" relationship with them. Meaning, none outside of work. If I met them randomly, it wasn't against the rules to friendly, bu that kind of entered a grey area...

In Summerside, I always made the effort to present myself as an authority figure and role model. In Chisasibi, working with children, I was the one who put in the most effort, so I didn't feel a lot of competition, there weren't any performance reviews, so I didn't feel goal-oriented, and the end of the program was coming up, so I didn't feel very committed. So I played every dirty trick in the book. I bargained, lied, and pleaded.

We would go out with pails for making sand castles and use them to catch fish. One time, they wanted to go beyond the view of the lifeguards. Instead of telling them "We're going no further than this. You do what I say because I'm an adult", when they gave me attitude, I would say, "If you don't stay where they can see me, the lifeguards are going to punish me! We're friends, right? You wouldn't do that to your bro, would you?" They'd ask if it was okay to go another ten steps and I'd be willing to negotiate. It was funny, because there was no rule that said they couldn't go outside the lifeguards' view. That was a rule I made up because I thought that, if a lifeguard were required to be there, then it only made sense to make sure they were able to perform their duty should need arise.

When the house ran out of food, and the members of my group were starving, I would go around, mooching off the children. I'd take a cookie here, someone's bread crusts there, until I cobbled together a meal.

I'd get a seat reserved for me in the back of the bus. The children would cling to my beard and tell me I was like Santa. I used to charge into the freezing cold water every day, which was a novelty among the children. They'd try to emulate me but usually only make it halfway. I'd encourage them to go a bit deeper each day.

In sports, the boys would make fun of the girls for performing "like girls". The response of the female side would be that the boys performed "like girls". Instead of telling both sides off for making fun of each other, I taught the girls that, when they made fun of boys for being like girls, that made it sound like being a girl was a bad thing, and you should be proud to be your own gender. Instead of telling them not to make fun, I taught them to make fun of boys for being boys.

Getting to Work

I called a cab over an hour ago, and they haven't shown up. I've tried calling them three times since, and the other cab company, and my call has only been picked up once. They say they're still working on it. I tried calling my work, but no luck there, either. I left them a message explaining the situation. I'm 25 minutes late for work as of this posting. I don't know if there's a point where I should give up. Everyone else here is asleep, so I can't ask them. I tried to wake them up by yelling/jabbing them with a broom, but no luck. Don't worry, I checked that their alive. They have no reason to be so sound asleep! Oh, I'm so alone right now. This must be due to Super Bowl Sunday. I don't like the Canadian Cab receptionist guy. He acts like I'm really putting him out when I call for a cab, and when he got my call the second time, he interrupted me to chastise me for expecting him to recognize me by voice. I expected no such thing! I was going to give you my address if you hadn't interrupted me! I said "Hello, I'm calling because I called for a cab about an hour ago. You must be really busy tonight--"

I don't think that's exactly a monologue. What I was going to say next was my address.

Hepatitis C Treatment Complete

Mom's Hepatitis C treatment is over. Some time ago, tests showed no sign of the disease in her system, so she probably has been free of it for some time, but the treatment only ended yesterday. There's a 5% chance of relapse during the next six months, but those were the odds that me and my brother had of having contracted it through childbirth, and neither of us had it. She'd have to be less lucky than either of us.

I denied overtime for the first time this weekend in order to celebrate Mom's return to health.

Yo, not only do you get my name as a suggestion if you Google it, you also get a correction and automatic search with the corrected spelling if you spell my name wrong!

So, what have I told you about the CWY application? That they sent me the second stage of the application process after I'd already completed it, and when they were supposed to tell me whether or not I'd gotten in? That they said I needed to provide some additional information that I'd been contacted about over email when I'd never been contacted? That, when I contacted them, they said I needed to provide a form that wasn't available to me because my file said that I'd already completed it, and then, when I requested to get that form, they sent me the one that I had already submitted on my second round? And now they've put my application to be for the group leaving the month after what I'd originally applied for?

This has got to be the first test. If I have it in me to get through their application process, I have it in me to complete the program.

When I go to Tim Hortons in the mornings, now, the person standing at the front counter has my coffee ready for me the moment I reach the front of the line, and after work, because I usually miss the first bus by like, 30 seconds and have to catch the next one 20 minutes later, the bus driver offered to wait a couple minutes after work for me every day. I feel known.

That's a nice bus driver, though. One time she stopped for me when I wasn't at a bus stop and chastised me for not signalling her down. I... didn't know I could do that if I wasn't at a bus stop.

Losing the Spring Race

Hey, so if you type my name into a Google search, you'll get it as a suggestion before you finish. And no, there isn't anyone else in the world with my name. That's a little freaky.

They hired more temps. That means that, they still have work for them, but got rid of most of them anyway. They weren't good enough. The fact that I'm still around shows I made the cut.

Some guy that's only been working here for a couple weeks... Same guy that replaced me on building... beat me at springing! We had five races and he beat me, five out of five. I claimed one was a tie, and one time one of my springs came loose, but those were lies... I lost.

I was the best in the factory at springs, or so I thought. I was the best at springs in the best shift in the factory. But I'm not anymore. This one guy can beat me and this other guy is at least fierce competition.

If you're the only person who volunteers to do everyone's least favourite job every day, you at least deserve to be the best at it!

And this guy... Ah, I'm not going to talk about this guy.