Job Searching

Yesterday I got a call from 2ndchance while I was working, asking me to call them back about the job I'd applied for. I hoped that they wouldn't bother asking me to call back over a rejection. I was also worried, because I kind of wanted to wait and see if the Assistant Program Director position at Extend-a-Family would give me an offer, and I thought if 2ndchance wanted to speak to me directly, I'd have to make an on-the-spot decision.

Next day I figured I'd accept the offered position, called 2ndchance, and it turns out they wanted me to call back over a rejection. She gave me an overview of the strengths and weaknesses of my interview which I thought was kind of above and beyond until I remembered that she works in the helping professions for employment.

After I finished talking to her, I spoke to my friend who went for the Assistant Director position at EAF. She had gotten an offer the day before, whereas I had none. I figured they had probably done their rounds, speaking to those they had hired.

Didn't I say something to the effect of "I've been so successful for so long, I don't remember what failure feels like"? Well, I remembered then. It sucks.

At least... Well, I've been having some anxiety, because every time my life has been at an all-time low, something has come along to pull me out of it and reestablish the balance of positivity and negativity. So I've had this superstitious feeling that that doesn't just go one way, and if things have been going well for me this long, something pretty bad has to happen to restore balance. Having the negativity come in small waves of rejection seemed manageable.

But 2ndchance found me a nice job lead for Anishnabeg Outreach, which is an employment agency for Aboriginal services. I thought my not being native might stand in the way, but I was told it wouldn't. And besides, I know a regular European blend Canadian who works for Anishnabeg, anyway.

So I went downtown to apply there, and also to use a fax machine to send some information to EAF about doing direct support work in September. Everything goes fine, I'm coming back, and run into my friend who had been gunning for the 2ndchance job, too.

Remember how I said I'd feel terrible to snipe his opportunity? Well, I didn't have to feel that way, because regardless of my presence in the competition, neither of us got it.

I'm going to have to drop by 2ndchance and meet the person that beat us both.

So me and my friend are having a few drinks and pining over our failure. I get a call and it's EAF. I got the Summer Program Assistant Director job!

So, I said I'd finally remembered what failure feels like? I just forgot again!

But now something even worse has to happen to bring me out of this feeling of success, to restore balance between the positive and negative in my life.