Creepy Phone

My phone is seriously bothering me. It has a function so that when I'm texting people, it will make suggestions as to what it predicts I'm going to say. At first, it makes guesses based on the texting patterns of the general population, and then as I get to use it more, it suggests based on my own personal texting history. By offering suggestions it can make it faster for me to message people, because I'll be able to just click the suggestion instead of typing the whole word.

But recently it started suggesting "die" after almost every word I type. Sometimes it will start suggesting gibberish, too, as if it's speaking in tongues. And sometimes the consecutive suggestions or the three suggestions lined at the top will form together to make a sentence. So a couple days ago it was charitable enough to say "Probably won't die" but yesterday it said "Die later tomorrow". Oh, and once I die, it said that I "Won't be honoured".

I've had other people watch it, and they're like "Did your phone get hacked?"

My flip phone never did this to me.

I'm even making this post right now because if the prediction is true, people can be like "Oooh, how did the phone know?"

But when I tried to log into my computer (I have it password protected) my "D" key stopped working. So I couldn't type my password (and yes, now you know there's a "D" in my password, you're one step closer to guessing it) and even if I got in, the first letter of "Die" is "D". It's like something's trying to silence me.

I just borrowed my brother's detachable keyboard to get in.

My computer's been weird too. It uninstalled Windows 8.5, it started putting any character written with the shift key into a search bar, and it would randomly and automatically search a specific combination of letters and symbols that didn't get any results when I Googled it.

Then it reinstalled Windows 8.5 and everything went back to normal.

I hate modern technology.