Equinox, Karate, Crazy Dream

On September 23rd, which was last Thursday, it was the night of the equinox. On September 22nd, on my way back home, having screwed up the bus system, winding up ten minutes late for karate, and after backing out, not wanting to be late on my first day back, I was approached by a woman downtown, who told me that tomorrow, there would be the largest full moon of the year, that it had some kind of Native relevance, and that if I wanted, I should Google "September full moon" for more information. I did that, and it turned out to be the equinox. I think it may also be the Pagan Autumn Solstice. I think there are four: one for the longest day, one for the longest night, and one on either equinox.

From my understanding, an equinox is when the Earth's axis is balanced, so that neither day nor night is longer. In the case of the Autumn equinox, this means that, the next day, the night would be longer than day. For the Spring equinox, it's the opposite.

Grandma just sent me an email, with an explanation of it's spiritual significance toward humans:

"the Autumnal Choice: to disintegrate with the falling leaves, oriented toward inevitable decay, or to participate in the formation of seeds, foundations for a future cycle of vegetation; seeds that are "oriented toward the sacrificial rite of germination, the rebirth of life forms....Leaf decay and seed-rebirth. It is for human beings to choose the current to which they are drawn."

That's not bad. I went back to karate on the night of the equinox with this in mind, even though I wouldn't get this email for two more days. Probably just coincidence. I had fairly concrete reasoning not to go... They keep your time "banked" until the first day you start back, so after the first day, the time for what you paid for is ticking. Were I to go to CWY after restarting Karate, I'd spend most of what's been paid not practicing.

And then I only decided not to do CWY, and stay here to support my family the day before my birthday, and I didn't want to start a workload on my birthday. Then I screwed up the bus schedule and had to come back the next day. When I heard about the equinox, I took it as a positive omen because I was seeking positive omens.

So unfortunately I'm going to say this doesn't confirm that I'm super-aligned with the cosmos or anything.

Going back to Karate was pretty sweet. I thought I would have forgotten a lot more. It was a self-defense class. I already have my red stripe for yellow defense (I've accomplished the self-defense requisites of my current belt rank), but I though I'd have to basically start again from the beginning of this belt. But once I got in there and had some practice, I was performing perfectly. I certainly wasn't at that level at my first yellow defense class! I think it will take a couple more classes to drill them all the way back into my brain, but that's fine... I have more than a couple yellow defense classes before I grade for my next belt!

I was complimented the whole lesson, on my speed, technique... They told a guy who was on his first day that I was notorious in the dojo for putting people to the test during self-defense classes, I was told I was ten times more explosive than before I left, and people kept talking about how much weight I lost.

What's the deal with this? It's not just the dojo. Everyone who sees me keeps exclaiming about my weight loss. I was never under the impression that I was overweight. In Katimavik, there was no real dietary regularity, because what we ate was dependent on who was House Manager, and there was no regularity in exercise, either, because whatever exercise we got was dependent on the activities we were doing. Still, it's hard to ignore that I've dropped two pants sizes...

Anyway, even if I was doing well, I was still pushed to my limit, breaking once on the plank and not managing to do 30 push-ups without breaking form, and now, two days later, I'm more sore than Katimavik ever made me. I don't know how I'm so much more fit, coming back from Katimavik, when I had these lessons before, and not during. It wasn't even a particularly harsh lesson. It was a little on the easy side, because there was a new guy.

But I'm a good kind of sore... Having gone through the lull of post-Katimavik stagnancy, it feels good to be able to throw yourself at something with all your heart, to be able to fight toward a goal, and give everything you have.

There was a disappointingly low number of old faces... Most of the instructors I'd seen at the Stag & Doe were there... There was an instructor I hadn't seen since before, and there was one old student. And there were a number of new blackbelts. The four old students you could count on to attend every lesson back in the old day were not there. I was the lowest-ranked person, except for the new guy. I think everyone except me and new guy were at the midway point or higher, and I think there was a majority of blackbelts vs any other kind of belt.

Wait... Wait...

There were eight students. Two green advances, two yellows, one white, three blackbelts. I got confused because the instructors participated. There were two instructors, and there were four blackbelts in the room next door.

So there! I was wrong about a blackbelt majority among students, but there were five non-blackbelts and nine blackbelts practicing in the dojo.

Oh, andI found out something interesting. You probably don't remember me complaining that first-degree blackbelts get a white stripe down the centre of their belt, so you actually need to get your second degree before you get a solid black one. Well, it turns out, I was mistaken. They give you a white stripe down the centre if you're a blackbelt who is under the age of sixteen! It has nothing to do with degrees.

They have a third dojo, now. I forget if I said this before, but the dojo used to be split in two, with one major dojo, and one minor. Well, now they have another minor. They also have classes every weekday, whereas before it was three, then four, and also, they offer free sword classes, in addition to bo, for people who obtain a high enough belt rank.

I'm going to change the conversation now. Our neighbours moved away today. That's sad. One of them was a child that reminded me of my younger brother when he was a child. And when my brother was around, he took on the role of big brother with this kid. It was really neat to see.

I also think this place is haunted, or I'm going crazy. I keep having incredibly vivid dreams that, while in the dream, I'll ask myself if they're real, since the events seem so unlikely, and I've got this... uncanny sensation, but I'm also self-aware enough that "dream sense" (the feeling that things make sense in the dream, even if they don't upon waking) doesn't apply. I'll be real thorough. I'll check that every one of my senses is functioning, I'll check the depth of my memories, and I'll check my time-perception. I'll find that everything is in working order, and conclude that this is not a dream. But later on, I'll wake up.

Last night I had a dream that someone was talking to me while I tried to sleep. I did my dream-test, found I was awake, concluded that it was only my conscience, and tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, I decided that I would get up and try to distract myself. I went to the bathroom, and found someone sleeping, wrapped up in blankets, on the floor. I checked Mom and Duncan, found them where they were supposed to be, and pondered over this unexpected inhabitant. Then I woke up.

On waking, I had a renewed fear of the voice. I thought it didn't come from my conscience, but from the bathroom inhabitant, and I didn't know if I was awake or asleep. I wanted to get up and serve the voice some Karate if it bothered me again, but I doubted the effects a spinning hammer fist would have on a ghost.

Not wanting to go to sleep again, and too afraid of the voice, I just hid, paralyzed under my blanket, like a child from the Boogeyman, until daybreak, when I could sleep, feeling that daylight would ward off this spectre.