Authority Figure

You know what's the worst about hanging around people with intellectual disabilities and illnesses? Sometimes people assume you have one. In Summerside, working with people with developmental disabilities, sometimes I would take clients out for walks, or to go swimming or bowling. If I were the only staff, then it would be pretty obvious that I was leading, since my clients would be pretty well-known and by process of elimination, new guy must be the one in charge, and also because more responsibility would fall on me, which heightened the chances of me being seen in action as an authority figure. But if there were multiple staff, my age, gender, and the ratio between new staff and new clients all marked me as an unlikely staff. Right now, I'm involved with a community of people with mental illnesses, and my vague status among them has caused some people to assume I'm one. In either case, it was never a big deal, but it could get a little awkward.

It could also be a little awkward if I met one of my clients in Summerside at a bar. Not awkward when it happened... I was never ashamed to be associated with those guys. But if they brought it up while I was working, in front of my supervisors... I was always supposed to have a "professional" relationship with them. Meaning, none outside of work. If I met them randomly, it wasn't against the rules to friendly, bu that kind of entered a grey area...

In Summerside, I always made the effort to present myself as an authority figure and role model. In Chisasibi, working with children, I was the one who put in the most effort, so I didn't feel a lot of competition, there weren't any performance reviews, so I didn't feel goal-oriented, and the end of the program was coming up, so I didn't feel very committed. So I played every dirty trick in the book. I bargained, lied, and pleaded.

We would go out with pails for making sand castles and use them to catch fish. One time, they wanted to go beyond the view of the lifeguards. Instead of telling them "We're going no further than this. You do what I say because I'm an adult", when they gave me attitude, I would say, "If you don't stay where they can see me, the lifeguards are going to punish me! We're friends, right? You wouldn't do that to your bro, would you?" They'd ask if it was okay to go another ten steps and I'd be willing to negotiate. It was funny, because there was no rule that said they couldn't go outside the lifeguards' view. That was a rule I made up because I thought that, if a lifeguard were required to be there, then it only made sense to make sure they were able to perform their duty should need arise.

When the house ran out of food, and the members of my group were starving, I would go around, mooching off the children. I'd take a cookie here, someone's bread crusts there, until I cobbled together a meal.

I'd get a seat reserved for me in the back of the bus. The children would cling to my beard and tell me I was like Santa. I used to charge into the freezing cold water every day, which was a novelty among the children. They'd try to emulate me but usually only make it halfway. I'd encourage them to go a bit deeper each day.

In sports, the boys would make fun of the girls for performing "like girls". The response of the female side would be that the boys performed "like girls". Instead of telling both sides off for making fun of each other, I taught the girls that, when they made fun of boys for being like girls, that made it sound like being a girl was a bad thing, and you should be proud to be your own gender. Instead of telling them not to make fun, I taught them to make fun of boys for being boys.