Stuck in the Past

Do you guys ever have a moment where, for whatever reason, you get a peek into the life of someone that was important to you for a particular life event, and it turns out that they are completely unchanged and still adamantly focused on this past event, as if it is still the focal point of their lives?

It's happened to me a couple times.  Never in a very important way, but I always find it surprising.  For instance, back when I was in grade eleven, it came time to do a group assignment, and I was put with a couple of girls that I had taken elementary school with.  All they talked about was elementary school.  The two girls were friends, so I guess that time was relevant to them for this reason, and my being there acted as a stimulant, but it was still weird.  They talked as if the events they were talking about happened just the other day.  It was casual, chatty and detailed, with an underlying tone of current relevance.  It's a little difficult to put into words what exactly about that conversation I found surprising, as it was almost a matter of tone rather than subject, but it left an impact on me.

Also, when I look at the Facebook pages of my old friends from Katimavik, I see that they are littered with messages from people of their former group, and that's all there is on them.  There's a couple people who still have their Katimavik group photos as their profile pictures. I spoke with a few old friends from Katimavik, and I got sort of the same vibe.

In one way, I'm jealous that it seems like I missed out on what appears to have been a life-encompassing experience for some people, but on the other hand, it's been two years post completion of a six month program, and when at this point it still looks to the world like you've only just finished those six months, it begins to look as if the experience is behaving as a limiter.  I left my soul in Africa, and I don't want to move away from what was for me a life-changing experience, and which could have caused me to move in a completely different life direction, but now that I'm walking the path that I am, I have to put one foot in front of the other and look toward the future.  It doesn't mean that I have to forget my experience, or cut ties, but it means that in most of my day-to-day life, I have to act as the self that is relevant to this life, and not a past one.

Some of these people who are still laser-focused on Katimavik moved on to do great things, too.  They've built careers and have moved impressively since I knew them.  But their focus is still on the past.

Oh, by the way, elephants don't laugh.  I finally got to watch those videos, and while they do smile, and they sort of rock their heads in a convulsive way similar to laughter, no sound comes out.