Karate, Seven Deadly Sins

I know I haven't been on in three days. What happened was, the thing we were trying to make our Internet connection better, totally killed the connection entirely, and it's hard to angle time at the library. This is only the second time using my laptop at the library. Today, I went to the space I used before to get the connection, but this time it didn't work. So I found another spot with a better connection, and it didn't work. So I tried it three times in the place with the better connection, and it randomly went through on the third. And the connection's working perfectly.

So... I guess the biggest thing to happen in the last few days is I got my yellow belt. It was surprisingly hardcore. The head sensei put on a militant attitude I hadn't seen in him before. Half the test was skill, half was endurance. We were all judged by a panel of six blackbelts who watched you and took notes. What kind of notes they were taking, I've no idea, because, weirdly enough, you can't fail grading. If they don't think you're ready, they won't give you your black stripe.

Endurance was mainly a series of stress positions. You know, like the legal torture techniques they use for interrogation purposes in the US? (Maybe Canada, too. I don't really know). And they didn't like, alternate positions that stress different parts of the body. All the ones that would kill your legs they put in a row, and all the ones that would kill your arms they put in a row, to intensify the pain. "Put your mind somewhere else. Your body is capable of more than you think. It's all in your mind. Just don't think of the excruciating pain in your legs", Thanks, Sensei, that's like telling me not to think of a zebra. What's the first thing I think of? "How are you feeling?" "Good sir!" "I can't hear you!" "GOOD SIR!" "Who feels like more pushups?" "Me, sir!". To think I was calling my friends fools for joining the military, and this is what I'm doing instead. "Get up and do that again, like you're being graded for a belt, or something!"

During wall-sits, I got a chunk of wall with a picture right above my head, meaning that I had to do the sit proper, because if I gave myself a bit of slack and pushed myself up a bit, I would hit the picture frame. During wall-sits, the amount your legs shake is a pretty good measurement of how much pain you're in, and my legs were shaking so bad I actually shook the drywall, and it made the picture above my head bounce hard enough that the sound of the frame vibrating against the wall alerted the blackbelts.

We were almost all adults, it was the last grading of the year, and most of the people grading were higher-ups, with me the only white belt, so they decided to make this one extra-intense.

Annoyingly enough, I've enhanced more in physical ability than in skill. I actually have visible biceps now. I'd better watch out, because I'm already the writing douchebag. I don't want to be the musclehead douchebag, too. People who are good at artistic pursuits are intelligent in the only way that can be proven tangibly, but without actually benefiting anyone. Also, believing that one has earned their right to exist simply by existing, because their inner self is so beautiful, makes for quite the potent douchebag. Musclehead douchebags are the most intimidating and imposing of douchebags. Combining these two features, I might just make for the most annoying person in the world!

Louise wants to celebrate me getting my yellow belt. And she seems to think it's something impressive to talk about. To be honest, it embarrasses me. I feel like a little kid, getting in on something like this, and with my family so impoverished, I feel out of place, and yeah, I worry about a person my size studying the art of physical combat seeming kind of thuggish. This is why I cram the karate stuff at the bottom of every blog post that I mention it in, and why I try to avoid putting it in the title of my entries, if I can help it. Also, yellow's not really a belt to celebrate. Black might be. Like, on my birthday, it's a celebration of every accomplishment I've made since birth, and a celebration of every accomplishment I will make in the future, so that's worth something, maybe. I guess any excuse to celebrate is a good one, and we're not talking about a party or anything. She and her family is just going to treat me and mine to dinner.

I got a certificate for my yellow belt, though, and I love getting certificates!

Hey, of the Seven Deadly Sins, I think my biggest faults are Pride and Envy (I'm not Roman Catholic, but the Seven Deadly Sins are fun). Lust and Gluttony could probably do me in. Wrath... under the right circumstances, but I feel my Wrath evaporating over time, and it hasn't really been an issue in the past too much. Greed and Sloth... Nope! Sloth used to be an issue, but I am now the least Slothful person I know. It is my biggest shift. Greed has never been an issue.

So I've conquered two or three of those sins... I know saying Pride and Envy are my biggest seems a contradiction, but I actually feel they are compatible. Supposedly, Pride is the worst of the Sins. It's the one that stops you from repenting your sins, and it's what Satan himself was sent to Hell for.

I've been told that I don't have Pride, because I don't try to put people down through my accomplishments, and I don't try to absorb more attention than is my share. But I dunno... This blog is all about me trying to get people to listen on a daily basis to me rant about my fairly normal emotional development and daily activities. Sounds like I want more than my share of attention.

However, my critical nature is an indication that I return the scrutinizing gaze that I seek out in others. So it's like, I'm trying to earn my right to be Prideful, or something.