Illness, Doctors, Time Perception, Cat Attack

I'm feeling really sick today. I used to enjoy being sick, because I felt that it turned my obligations from the daily grind to simple survival and recovery. I felt like my body was fighting a battle against illness, and I enjoyed it with almost a somewhat similar feeling of adrenalin that I would get from physical combat. This time, however, I don't feel like I'm a part of my body, fighting the illness, but rather that the illness has made itself a part of me. So instead of feeling like I'm bearing up powerfully against an opponent, when true strength is shown, I feel more like I've been turned weak, which I don't like at all.

So, I tried calling back the two doctors. Turns out Dr. Senior is a psychiatrist. I've got an appointment next Wednesday. It will be good to get this out of the way. I couldn't get my family doctor, and they don't have a machine that takes messages, so that will have to wait until Monday.

I asked my mom about the quickening of time perception with age. I had been under the impression that everything just seemed like it moved in fast-forward, but it turns out it's more about memory perception than it is about the immediate present seeming to move by quicker. That's a relief. I can spin that in a positive light. All this time I've been watching clocks and trying to decide if that hour felt shorter than the previous one.

I feel... combatant today. I have come up with a new theory about the perceptions of others in regard to how I have presented myself in the past, and while there is nothing strategically bad about how things have worked out... I'm... unhappy... with how I think things have worked out. I'm... not going to go into further detail.

Right now I've got my thread from the harmonica forum open in another tab... Six replies. I haven't read 'em yet... Trying to will myself up to it...

Yesterday, I saw a cat attacking a squirrel. The cat had gotten on top of it, had one front leg over it, and was biting at it. I thought the squirrel was done for. They kind of grappled across a corner. I followed them, and it turned out the squirrel had managed to somehow get loose, and had gotten up a tree. Six stray cats were standing beneath the tree, and when I went around, four of them looked at me. Five of them were black, one was grey.

Somebody sent me a video, saying that I'd love it, because it contained girlfriend troubles, and I have had... girlfriend troubles. In the video, a girl butchers a guy, with scenes of intimate moments they'd shared flashing in and out. Later, the girl is talking to another girl. Turns out, the new girl was the boy's girlfriend. The girl that butchered the boy claims to be pregnant with the boy's child. The girlfriend tells the pregnant girl to look in a bag, which turns out to contain the severed head of the boy, revealing that the girlfriend had been on the scene of the crime, and had decapitated the boy's corpse. She then pulls out the murder weapon and cuts open the pregnant girl's uterus, and it is revealed that she had been lying, for there is no fetus inside her.

Um... UMMMMMM!!!! How does this relate to me, and why would I love it? I see very little in how this relates to me.