More Katimavik Prep, Mostly

Sorry I didn't update yesterday. Just couldn't get on the computer. I'll update right now, disregard everything I've done today, and update again later today.

Yesterday I went to my old school because I thought my teacher had said to come that day to collect donations. Turns out, she said Friday. But I met up with another old teacher, who gave me a bit more detail on what's going down. Apparently, they've amassed a truckload of stuff for me, and I'm welcome to take all or none of it, and to get stuff for Duncan, too. Furthermore, they've got a surprise that has nothing to do with gear, and after that, an old Guidance Counselor wants to do something with me. Probably wants to talk about sex. Every older man and most older women want to have a man-to-man talk with me about sexual interaction while I'm traveling abroad.

I got another $100 from a family friend for my travel funds. I'm going to have money left over!

At times like this, you can't help but wonder if you're worth all the support you're receiving. From a worldwide, economic standpoint, personal worth is difficult to gauge, because consumption fuels society, so even by sitting around like a lump and consuming, it's possible that the world is better off with you than without. At least most of human civilization is. From a personal perspective, it's difficult to gauge, too, because people enjoy giving. So by receiving, it's not necessarily like you're hurting anyone. Your appreciation gives back. It sounds corny, but it's a valid point.

But still... people don't give to causes they're not interested in. There are so many worthy causes begging us for money constantly, that we've had to train ourselves not to give until we go bankrupt or lose our sanity. People only give to causes they feel some personal resonance with.

A lot of branch family and friends have been giving to me, and I have to wonder... Why do they have interest in me? I've been going through a bit of a self-depreciating stage, thinking that everyone hates me, that I have no personality, that I've accomplished nothing in life etc. But it seems I don't have a right to be going through that when people are forking such immense quantities of material and financial support, and I never even really asked.

Some guy named Matthew "from Katimavik" left a message and wants me to call back. Interesting, since that's the name of my travel buddy. Could it be the same guy, and he wants to contact me for travel arrangements?

Katimavik had me fill out a pre-trip questionaire. 117 questions, testing my eligibility. It was mainly questions based on interacting with people in a variety of situations. I worry that I was too generous with myself. I ranked high seventies low eighties in almost all of the categories! They said not to worry if the score comes out low, because if I'm already perfect, Katimavik will have little in the way to aid me. Only area I sagged in was the French speaking one. I got 22% for that. And maybe I did bad in the information section. They didn't show me the results for that, for some reason.

The reason they had me do this quiz was because they want me to do one before and after, to see how I improve. I might actually be tougher on myself when I'm coming back from the trip. All humbled or whatever, even though I've gained in ability. That sometimes happens. And then it will look like my competency dropped even though it actually rose.

My writing teacher did not get back to me with notes on my final assignment. She can't flunk me if she turned a four week course into a six week course and failed to meet her own deadlines returning projects, right? I should hope not!

My karate problem went away. I knew it would. Oftentimes, in a problem situation that you don't want to voice, it will go away as soon as you voice it, for absolutely no reason whatsoever. That's why I voiced it while there was still one day left of regular class. Grading is happening Thursday, and there is open practice on Friday, but this Wednesday was my last class where I'd be guaranteed to be training with them.

I voiced the issue to a few trusted people, but apparently that wasn't enough. To break the spell, you need to voice the uncomfortable situation in an environment that you're uncomfortable voicing it. If this place wasn't uncomfortable enough, it's not hard to imagine a more uncomfortable place I could have gone...

Remember, overcoming your issues is always about making yourself uncomfortable!

Oh, and just a BTW, I did ourselves a disservice by saying we got gold and silver in katas, bronze in sparring, and gold in self-defense. Turns out, we got gold, silver and bronze in katas, gold, silver and bronze in sparring, and gold in self-defense! We completely and utterly dominated every single school in Guelph! If we aren't a "tournament school" then we surely decimated a few tournament schools!